Handsful of Life

Life and Love

2011-10-14T18:49:00.002-06:00

Some days of this Mama-hood are long and weary. So much said over and over, discipline for the same things over and over. The repetitive-ness, time outs, tear stained cheeks, shushing, running to catch, "let-me-outs", all again and again and again since we made the beds. And then, then I am reminded, ever so gently and brought to tears....so thankful, so overwhelmed, of these handsful.... of this life we have.

This work that I have. To mold and shape my boy so that one day he will be a good man, a man that loves well and lives well. Striving to be a godly example to him and falling short....daily. Showing him that my Abba-Father is working on me...still. I have to ask for forgiveness too, for being short-tempered, not loving, not patient, not kind, not gentle.

His sweet little body curling up to mine. "Mama, lay with me for naps", "you want to hold me?", sharp elbows, warm blond head, sweet voice....climbing up on me, hugs and kisses all is well and forgotten. Time to play, create, explore, learn, listen and take this life that we live in.

Mama-hood is hard work, weary work, glorious work, heart-full work.

We are blessed, with handsful of life and handsful of love.

Mama

2011-08-30T21:27:00.010-06:00

‎....The most important thing she'd learned over the years was that there was no way to be a perfect mother and a million ways to be a good one. -- Jill Churchill

I came across this quote again today...I saw it first Aug 30, 2009...my sweet PeaPie was 5 months old and I was brand new Mama..still sitting, spending hours in my red chair, nursing my sweet babe and dreaming about the years of wonderful Mama-hood ahead of me. I did not then and do not now, think that there is any Mama who is a perfect Mama....but I do know that there are a lot of good ones out there. Many who am a blessed to call my sisters and my sister-friends. Mama's that I can look up to, the ones that I no longer live near, but I watched them with their little loves and how they Mama-ed them and I took note. And now that I am in the trenches of two and almost a half with my little PeaPie, I remember their words, their actions, their tone of voice, their conversations and their Mama-love. No days are picture perfect, but there are hours sometimes it seems that the world is just right and I see the sunshine and smell the roses....and when those hours tick-tock down and the day seems long I remember. I dig deep and calm myself, take patience off that shelf of virtues and breathe for just a moment.

These days...the long, drawn out, why isn't this kid sleeping....doesn't.he.know.that.it.is.nap.time.and.we.played.for.hours.outside.just.so.he.would.nap

These days, they are the best days and I want to live in the moment of them and enjoy them and suck the life breath from each passing minute. I want to Mama to the best....to my best...I want to be a good Mama.

Best Breakfast Evah!

2011-07-28T19:17:00.001-06:00

Let me tell you....this is the BEST French Toast ever....I came up with this one when I was at the beach with my girlfriends years ago...it was a hit then and it still is today!

Angel French Toast with Orange Honey Fruit
Recipe by Nili

You will need:
One store bought Angel Food Cake cut into 1 inch slices

Combine in a bowl:
6 eggs
1/3 cup milk
2 tsp cinnamon

Dip the angel food cake slices into the bowl of egg mixture
Place into lightly buttered pan and cook over medium heat

Combine:
Zest of one orange
the Juice of that orange
2 tsp of honey
and toss with:
4 cups of season fruit cut into small pieces (I used Strawberries, Blackberries and Apples)
A lil shake of powdered sugar and you are ready to enjoy! (I don't add any syrup to these as they are sweet enough) Ren ate the fruit separate from the Angel Toast and he L.O.V.E.D it!

Quilt in Progress

2011-07-27T19:10:00.004-06:00

Wordless Wednesday...

Books We Read

2011-07-26T19:41:00.004-06:00

My Lil' PeaPie is a lover of books and letters and animals and books... and we read a lot....I mean A LOT...

I thought I would share with you some of our favorites right now, books that I have long ago memorized and come to love. When I am old and look back on my PeaPie's youngest years I know that I will fondly remember these books and I hope that they remain in our little family library for-evah.

The Big Red Barn by Margret Wise Brown quickly became top on our list of nigh-night stories and day ones too. We checked it out from our local library and fell in love. After two weeks we returned it and my PeaPie did not stop talking about it...so we checked it out again and again and then I finally bought it.

Time For Bed by Mem Fox is my go-to baby shower, 1st birthday book. This one came recommended to me by a sweet friend with two boys, she said it was and still is her little guys favorite book and she was sure that my PeaPie would love it. She wasn't wrong. Ren likes to point out each animal and their Mama as well as when they are doing or what is happening in the background behind them.

Zoo-ology by Joelle Jolivet is an over-sized animal book and it's all about the illustrations. Ren loves to look through this one page by page and talk about the different animals, what they look like, where they live, what sound they make and then we play match with his Schleich

animals.

Any Dr Seuss...Hop on Pop, Fox in Sox, Green Eggs and Ham, One Fish Two Fish, Mr. Brown Can Moo, The Foot Book, There's a Wocket in My Pocket....and my smarty-pants PeaPie knows the name to all of these books and can pull the right one off the shelf.

Humphrey's First Christmas By Carol Heyer, other-wise known as "Camel the Humph", Room for a Little One by Martin Wadell, other-wise known as "Kind Ox" and Who Is Coming to Our House by Joseph Slate, are three Christmas books that we started reading at the beginning of Advent 2010. Long after Advent was over Ren pulls them from the shelf, reads them on his own and asks me to read them too.

Quiet Night by Marilyn Singer, is another local library find that quickly made it's way in to our family library. My PeaPie loves this one and enjoys the illustrations as much as he enjoys making the various animal and bug noises.

Bear Snores On By Karma Wilson, I just happened to see the one at a local bookstore, quickly scanned through it and knew that it had to be added to our family library. I'm so glad I did, Ren loves this book as much as I do.

On Noah's Ark by Jan Brett, is one of the many Jan Brett books that we own. We love the animals (of course) and I love having another book that I can use to teach Ren about God's promises. Ren's other favorite Jan Brett book is Honey...Honey...Lion!

A list of a few more books we read:

The Biggest Bear by Lynd Ward

Little by Little by Amber Stewart and Layn Marlow (Hardcover)

When We Went to the Zoo by Jan Ormerod

Read and Share Toddler Bible retold by Gwen Ellis

God Loves Me More Than That by Dandi Daley Mackall

Barnyard Dance! by Sandra Boyton (ALL books by Sandra Boyton!)

Going to Sleep on the Farm by Wendy Cheyette Lewison

Sometimes I Like to Curl up in a Ball by Vicki Churchill

I hope that my sweet Lil' PeaPie always has a love for reading.....I keep my Amazon wish-list updated and always full of new books to buy.

What are some of your favorite kids books?

Mama Loves

2011-07-25T15:09:00.006-06:00

Mama Loves...

a sleepy snuggly Lil' PeaPie

all the colors of the rainbow in my dishwasher

"i'm making music, Mama!"

pan-popped popcorn afternoons

coffee tables full of puzzles and color pages

coffee

nap-time

impromptu "i love you's"

followed by

kisses and hugs

play-dates

and

"where are we going today?"

the stack of library books that scream...

read me! read me!

every time we pass them

Lil' PeaPie's grin and laughter

laughter that

warms my soul

"my Deda is home...that's MY Deda!"

giggles and pitter patter of little feet running

round and round

hearing ears (even if I have to have a little help)

new menu ideas

old tried and true favorites

the local farmer's market

creating and serving a dish of love

coffee

a Deda that loves to grill

making new friends

keeping up the the ones that are made of gold

5 minute nakey-time

my own personal streaker

his blue/brown/green eyes

Turkish carpets

gifted iPad and it's fabulous cover

my "lil' old man" Elliot

our "he's outa control" Austin

rain and the smell of rain

eyes that can see

handmade quilts

sewing strips and creating beauty

quilt and pillow forts

flashlights

beauty

imperfection

my size 12's

seeing what I have not seen before

seeing through a 2 year old's eyes/heart

"can Mama hold you?" arms up

and these hands

handsful of life...

in the quiet

2011-03-04T23:28:00.003-07:00

in the quiet

i hear me

the old

and the becoming

reminding

this

is the life

the one i

wished for

hoped for

prayed for

in the quiet

i am grateful

of handsful

of blessings

of goodness

of love

and

peace

in the quiet

this life

right now

i am finding

purpose

contentment

joy

in the quiet

i still seek

the me

that i hope to be

Change is needed

2011-02-14T09:19:00.004-07:00

I've been in a slump, a funk, an idon'twannadonothin' but somethinghastochangeandsoonPLEASE

of late and I know that I am the one who has to make the change, that I have to start doing SOMETHING and this don'twannadonothin' attitude has to go...byebye out the window pleaseandthankyou.

Nothing is better to me than being a Mama to my Lil PeaPie....but I miss the accomplishments at the end of a work day/week. Feeling like I have made a difference...no matter how small....and stop before you think....You're a Mama, you make a difference.....I do know that...BUT....I need something more.

Better organized at home keeping, creative projects to keep me excited, a bible study to attend to keep me accountable to read, study and pray, a regular work out schedule to improve and keep my body healthy, new music to refresh my mind, spirit and heart....I guess I could go on and on....BUT the main thing is that I need a kick to get me going...So I am kicking and hoping and praying that I can effectively change...myself...from the inside out. Wake up with a determination to not let my days justgobysofastthatIhaven'tacluewherethetimeisgoing.

I don't want to look at my 36th year of life like I have looked at the past couple of years and not see improvements of self, see goals left sitting there, dreams still hanging out on the shelf collecting dust.

I'm going to do it, I will, I will, iwilliwilliwilliwilliwill...and you can look forward to seeing change in me, my blog and hopefully my whole life.

In the Details

2011-01-09T12:05:00.006-07:00

If anything, having my Lil' PeaPie has taught me that life is about the journey...and the details that surround us...and the destination. We start off the day with talks of heading out to the playground. Everything thing we do...dry bummies, eggs and saushage, unload the dishwasher, load the dishwasher, sort the laundry, start the laundry, read some books, play animals, dry bummies, play animals, fold the laundry, SNACK, socks and shoes....leads us up to the destination of the morning...the playground.
We start out the door, Elliot, leash, Poo bags, keys, cell phone, careful, vewy careful, "by self...by self" he says, as we take a good 5 minutes to go down a short set of stairs..."leaves, baby rocks, throw....by self, by self". I have to stop and not rush, not get annoyed that we are not headed down the sidewalk yet...and enjoy that he sees the details that surround him....and stop and look and see those details for myself.
When we make it to the sidewalk I let him choose.....he always chooses....round the block the long way...leash in hand...more Elliot walking him than him Elliot. Of course Elliot stops...to smell and smell the details....and Ren picks up more leaves...and more baby rocks and I have a nice handful of his treasures.
Time to cross the street..."hold hands Ren...we always hold hands when we cross the street"..."let go, let go"...he insists...but I keep a firm hold..."no, Ren, we ALWAYS hold hands when we cross the street, that is the rule". As soon as we reach the sidewalk on the other side he is tugging and ready...not to keep walking but to stop and pick up more baby rocks and leaves...
"I spy with my Mama eye... the swings and a slide"...I encourage..."come on Ren...lets go...playground remember?" And then he sees the bright red slides, and the yellow steps and the swings...and he stops and looks at ants...and I wonder if we are ever going to get there...and then
I
realize
we
are
there.

This whole time
...the whole journey
...we were there
....are there.
The details of our journey and the destination...both are what it is all about. The details of the day...moment by moment....I don't want to rush through my life not seeing...not smelling, not tasting (thank goodness there is no tasting on the way to the playground), not touching, not feeling, not experiencing.
Because that is where we grow and learn and change and are stretched...
In The Details.

(all photos were taken while Apple picking Sept 2010)

Struck so

2010-11-20T19:14:00.003-07:00

I found myself in an interesting place today...a place that I thought that I had traveled and navigated enough that I would not visit it again.

My Red Tent time has come and
I am saddened...I hoped and prayed and pleaded
One would think after all this time
of
Five
Years
of
Unexplained
Infertility

and

then

the Joyous Birth and Life of my Little Ren

that I would not be struck with sadness so.
At least
I did not anticipate this overwhelming feeling
of loss.

I'm almost not sure how to take it...but I will get on this little sad boat and let the wind blow me as it may...because if there is one thing that I have learned in my life is that you have to let things take their course...and you have to recognize the root and heart of yourself...and you have to accept it....and then you keep going....hoping, praying and pleading.

Good Food

2010-10-17T19:55:00.001-06:00

You know I LOVE good food...and this dinner I made last night was SO GOOD....too good to not pass along...
Chicken Sausage, Tomato and Feta with Pasta
So I made this dinner tonight...It was SOOO GOOD!!!
Recipe by: Nili

The grocery store had chicken sausage with spinach and feta...so I picked that up. You could probably use a regular chicken or turkey sausage with this too.
I made this for 4 adults

Linguine pasta (how ever much you need for you family)
8 small tomatoes ( I would get the vine/organic ones for best flavor) chopped...you will need all the tomato juice too.
1 lrg clove of garlic chopped
1 TBSP of good olive oil
1/2 cup (of more if you like) of crumbled Feta Cheese (mine was a tomato basil feta)
package (mine had 5) of chicken sausage

I also oven roasted asparagus (4 spears per adult).
Put water on to boil for the pasta...make sure you salt it.
Pour the olive oil in a skillet pan over med heat cook the sausage.
After the sausage is done remove from the pan or just pull to one side of the pan.
Add the chopped garlic and allow to cook for a minute or two.
Add the chopped tomatoes and all the tomato juice and a little salt.
Deglaze the pan with the tomato mixture.

Drain the pasta and put in a large serving bowl...pour the tomatoes and all the sauce from the pan on top of the pasta.
Add the crumbled feta cheese and toss.

Serve with sausage, and asparagus along with hot crusty bread and a glass of wine...
Enjoy!!!

Eighteen....

2010-10-01T19:16:00.004-06:00

My dear sweet Lil PeaPie is 18 months.....I.Can.Hardly.Believe.It.

This is Ren last year....9 months old.....and this...this is Ren this year....

All Big.Boy.Eighteen.Months.Big.....I don't need the strollie thank you very much Mama, I can walk the whole zoo by myself....Big. So Big....

that Ren can now milk the fake cow at the zoo, BIG.

Ren is busy....waking way to early for this Mama and ready to go as soon as his feet hit the floor. He loves his cuppa-cup of mulk or wawa, apples, cheese, grapes, spaghetti, ham, saushage, eggs, toast, PB&J and ice....and what ever Mama is eating too. And he can feed himself too....a bit lands on the floor and a bit on his shirt and a bit in his mouth....he's getting the hang of the fork and spoon though...bit by bit.

Animal books are the tops for my PeaPie and the Giraffe seems to take the cake. and then lions, elephants, hippos, dogs, cats and...and........we have a Book of 100 Animals and he knows about 80 of them. Noah's Ark books are read and re-read...the animals are pointed out and Ren makes their noise...his cuter than cute version of their sound.

Ren is asking please...and help...and is learning my big family....my seven sisters and who goes with them. His I-een (Aunt Irene), DayDay (Uncle David), Emlee (Cousin Emily) and Dan-L (Cousin Daniel) are his family... He even knows how to yell for them when dinner is ready... I know my Ren will be sad when we move next week. And I know that I will be sad too....and I know that I have my work cut out for me to keep him busy and play with him like my wonderful niece and nephew do. Not to mention the time, love and attention my sister pays to him. Going from a busy house of 6 to a quieter one of 3 is going to be a big change. But I also know that settling into our life...our home...with our beloved DaDa is going to be wonderful and long awaited.

Big.....So Big.....and getting Bigger every day...these past eighteen months have flown by and my Lil PeaPie is now more closer to TWO than ONE.

Peace in Chaos

2010-09-07T20:22:00.005-06:00

I LOVE carrying my lil PeaPie....I love wearing him. This photo was taken on Saturday. We were at my sister's house at a family reunion....ALL of my family was there....except my Man....I have 7 sisters and their men and our 16 kiddos plus my mom and dad....ALL of us and it was busy and loud and a lot was going on. So much that my PeaPie would not lay down for naps. I tried everything...nothing seemed to be working. So out came my Ergo and in Ren went. He drank a little milk, had a couple bites of snack and then I walked to a quieter corner of my sister's kitchen and swayed and rocked my lil Ren to sleep. I didn't want to walk out of the noise and happy chaos that was happening all around us...I didn't want him to wake if I walked from a quiet room to a loud one. ...He slept there against my heart for a hour or so....and I loved every moment of it. Ren is 17 months and a week now....and I don't get a chance to wear him very often or for very long...as he is always on the go....he's my busy busy bee....I am so grateful that I had my Ergo in the back of my car...that Ren was able to nap....and that I was able to quiet my heart and find peace in a happy chaotic day.

Do/Did you wear your babies...if so what is one of your favorite babywearing memories?

What a difference a year makes!

2010-09-01T18:48:00.006-06:00

Oh my, how my heart fills and spills with love for this boy....my boy...my heart!

My Sweet PeaPie one year ago this past month...tasting his first foods and loving it....and then ONE year later enjoying Butternut Squash Puree with Parmesan Cheese over Pasta.

First time sitting in a highchair at a restaurant one year ago and here he is today....cleaning up a bowl of cheese sauce with some chips....not to mention licking the bowl clean!

Ren is a full 17 months and one day....whew he is almost 1 and 1/2...time she is flying and I am so very grateful that I am able to stay at home and watch Ren grow. He has an amazing vocabulary and is learning new words every day...Mama...Mama...Mama is by far my favorite....I always answer with Yes, Love? and sometimes he just grins and my heart it leaps and I can't help but to smile....and sometimes he asks for a snack or a book or his cuppa-cup. Ren loves Saushage and Eggs...he asks for them every morning and sometimes even gets the pans out...and when I ask him what he is doing he replies...Cook....What are you going to cook Ren? I ask....Saushage...Egg is his reply. And most days I just have to make him his saushage and egg...I mean how can I resist such a sweet request from my favorite boy?

We are reading lots and lots of books. Ren's favorite night time books are:
Going to Sleep on the Farm (he calls it How)
Goodnight Gorilla (GRilla)
Sometimes I like to Curl up in a Ball
On Noah's Ark (Ark)
Little By Little (the hardcover not the paperback...they are different)
Guess How Much I Love You
Where the Wild Things Are
The Going to Bed Book

Ren and I read through these books every night before he goes to sleep. We snuggle up on my bed....Ren settles into some soft pillows or lays on my belly or in the crook of my arm and we read...and read and sometimes read his favorite of the night several times. I love that he loves books....that he is already entranced by them.

I can only imagine what he will be like a year from now....I love this journey of being a Mama...of being his Mama...of loving Ren and watching him grow and learn and change!

What are/were some of your favorite night time books for your little ones?

Love and Marriage

2010-08-18T20:07:00.005-06:00

I've been thinking about my love...my husband....my Man...and in that thinking comes the thinking of marriage and love and the wonder and beauty of this relationship (and not just mine...but many of the other wonderful marriage relationships that I am able to bear witness to). We have been married for 7 years, 7 months and 2 days my Man and I. And while our relationship has had its share of joys and sorrows...it has remained...a strong and sure place that we can turn to. Dealing with unknown infertility issues for 5 of those 7 years, moving to a distant and foreign country, grieving the loss of a failed adoption and enduring a number of separations have proven the strength and fortitude of our marriage. Choosing to only rely on each other and our relationships with God instead of turning to friends or family has been key for us. Because we married 6 weeks after we met in-person, the Man and I had a lot of learning about each other to do (which was a lot of fun and required a lot of grace on both ends) after we said I do.

The keen and wonder-ness and beauty about it all...that catches me in thought sometimes and gives me pause....is this;
This man that I married, that I pledged my life to...who I did not "know" (although I absolutely knew him) when I placed a ring on his finger and accepted one on mine...is my best friend, the one I want to lay in the dark next to and talk and dream and laugh and cry with and share my life...our life with all its ups and downs...this man that I did not even know he existed 7 years, 8 months and 10 days ago.
Isn't love and the choice of loving someone with your head as well as your heart grand?!
(This picture, the Man and I, Aug 2006, Mt. Nemrut, Turkey)

Time for change

2010-08-02T06:46:00.007-06:00

Well.....it's time to change things up a bit. Not that I am no longer living in my own paradise but somehow that title just didn't seem to do it for me anymore. I AM however, living life by the handfuls....very generous handfuls. Sometimes those handfuls are a bit overwhelming and usually they keep me very busy....or as busy as I want to be. Mostly I want to be busy...SHHHH...it helps pass the time. And time...she is passing by...much too slow some days and others much to quickly! Can you believe that my lil PeaPie is 16 months old now? He is a walking and a talking and keeping me very busy....I live for naps and bath time.

This morning Ren wanted a bath in the middle of breakfast....so I put a lid on the cheesy scrambles and sausage and ran a bath so he could play. A nice cup of coffee for me (I am totally turning into a coffee drinker), some sweet tunes on Pandora and I got a bill paid and a facial! Whooohoooo....a great start to my Monday morning.

I've been working on a couple projects and will be posting pictures soon. I have some much stuff (in my head) that I would love to do...learn to do...become better at...and I have started working on some of it or have started organizing my thoughts so that I can work on them.

I hope you continue to visit me in this little space of mine. There are a bunch of you reading/following and I don't know you personally...I am so glad to see you....I would love to hear from you and get to know who you are....as well as answer any questions...or just hear from you what you would like to hear from me.

Thoughts

2010-06-28T20:14:00.003-06:00

I have not written in so long
because
Sometimes it is easier to
not write
not speak of
my stress
my fears
my loneliness.

The Man is still gone

away

an ocean and more apart
and it hurts my heart
to have him so far from me.

We spoke today
on video chat (I am so grateful)
and he looked so sad
and stressed
and worn.

He needs me
to sit down and have a chat
while he rests in my arms.

I need him
to sit down and have a chat
while I rest in his arms.

I need to make him a meal
full of love and goodness
a meal that only I can cook.

Somehow cooking
helps heal my heart
and his eating of my love
heals his.

To say my heart it now
bears a heavier burden
would be truth.
But I cannot sit and tell
and pour it out...
If I could
I would
but I cannot.

My Life...Our Kid Names

2010-05-07T08:48:00.004-06:00

Kelly at Kelly's Korner hosts Show us your life on Friday's and today's theme is your kids or (future kids) names.
When the Man and I met, we knew we wanted a family....when we married we wanted to wait for at least one year before we had little ones...you know so we would have time to get to know each other and settle in our marriage. Little did we know that it would take 6 years of trying after that 1st year of not trying to have our very own little one. Since we had all that time...we talked about names and we talked some more and we talked some more....and you think with all that talking we would have settled in on a name or two.
Well, when we found out we were in fact expecting a little miracle...the name talk started all over again. The Man is the 3rd and he wanted to name our son the 4th...and I did not really want to. Mainly because all the variations of the Man's first and middle names have been used in his family and they are very traditional names and I am not such a traditional name girl. So we talked and talked and went round and round....and decided to name our son the 4th....but call him something else. Which sparked a whole new conversation....I didn't want to just call our son any name and I wanted it to have meaning or significance to us...to our families. And Reynold is my paternal grandfathers name...we called him Granpa Ren...and I love him and miss him dearly. So, I asked the Man what he thought about Ren....and he liked it...and so Ren it is. Ren's legal name is the 4th and his given name is Ren.
If we have a little girl in the future...we had decided on a name but I keep changing my mind about the first name. Her middle name will be Noelle after my father (his name is Noel). We had decided on Alexandria for the first name and we would call her Alexa but I don't know. I LOVE Audrey....but the Man he's not so sure and if we were to have another little boy....well lots and lots of nights and days will be dedicated to play the name game all over again.

Embracing Rest

2010-05-06T19:57:00.004-06:00

Putting Ren down for naps is a lesson in patience, persistence and grace. He fights going to sleep almost.every.single.time. As I am holding him, singing over him, willing him to lay his head on his Mama and sleep...he fights it. Bends and twists, asks for a cup, tries to climb over my shoulder and cries and cries. So, I keep singing, keep holding, keep willing him to lay his head and he eventually does. And when he does stop, he stops fighting all together...not even a whimper....and he relaxes his little body on mine and he closes his eyes and embraces the rest that I am offering him....and today as he laid in my arms, concentrating on keeping his little eyes closed....he smiled...and then smiled again.... and then slept. And my lil Mama heart leaped for joy! Joy that he is resting, that he is trusting...that he loves me and that I love him.

In this time of a hushed room, a time set aside so my little one can rest...God spoke to my heart. And He showed me a picture of myself and my relationship with Him. And this scripture ran through my mind again and again...“Come unto Me, all who are weary and heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you, and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart; and you shall find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light” (Matthew 11:28-30).

And there I am sitting in my Heavenly Father's lap....crying and squirming, trying to escape, asking for something different...anything to not rest. And my Father waits and persists and sings and holds and desires for me to find rest in Him. Because He loves me so...and because I love Him.

Isn't is amazing that HE...the Creator of the universe can love us so....can speak to our hearts? I am embracing rest...His rest...rest for my weary soul.

7 Quickies

2010-04-30T20:58:00.007-06:00

1. Approx 147 days till the Man comes home.

2. Home is truly where your heart is...right now my heart is in Afghanistan as well as right here in SC. When the Man returns home (to me) my heart will be moved to Louisiana...yes it is official....at least I think it is.

3. Ren is now 13 months old....here are his words:
Mama
Dada or DA
Papa
Dan (his cousin)
Ellie (my pup Elliot..this was Ren's FIRST word at 9 months)
Emi (for Emily, another cousin)
Cup (for drink)
Madison ( I know right...for real!)
Snack
Cheese
Milk
Go-Go (for outside)
No
Yep
Light
Up
Down
yum
Abby (another cousin)
Dog
Ball
Block
When Ren woke the other morning I was going to put him in bed with me and nurse...he sat up and said No, Cup. No nursies for Ren that morning...he wanted a cup. He is putting words together and objects with what they belong to....Elliot's collar was on the floor, Ren picked it up and said "Ellie" holding it out to me. I'm sure there are more words...he is really picking stuff up fast...he said flower and seed the other day while outside playing in the grass.

4. If you are ever looking for an incredible cause to get involved in that is making an incredible difference in the lives of some wonderful, beautiful children...you should go here www.aidchild.org and get involved.

5. I finished the 1st of three quilts that I was inspired to make after seeing Dana's quilt give away back in '08. I followed her "How to make a quilt" tutorial. This first one is a baby floor quilt approx 52 x 31 inches.
It is a gift for a friend and her new baby girl...due in June!

6. This week, April 24th through May 1st is National Infertility Awareness Week. I am posting my story tomorrow.

7. I've been thinking a bit on Micah 6:8
He has told you, O man, what is good;
and what does the Lord require of you
but to do justice, and to love kindness,
and to walk humbly with your God?

Part of 7 Quick Takes

My Life....How The Man and I Met

2010-04-22T20:29:00.007-06:00

Kelly over at Kelly's Korner hosts Show Us Your Life on Fridays. I so enjoy reading Kelly's blog, watching her little beautiful Harper grow, being encouraged through her writing and her walk with Christ are just a couple of reasons why I read her blog.....so if you have never checked her out...you should!

So, the theme for Show Us Your Life Friday is: How you met your husband.
The Man and I met online. We had both been married and then walked through divorces before we met. I had been single for about 5 years before I met him and he about 2. He sent me a message through the website (ChristianC@fe.com) we met on and we started talking through email. A couple weeks later he sent me his telephone number and after I had waited for a week and a couple days (you know a good time to make him wonder if I was going to call or not...ha) I called him. We talked and talked and talked some more. After many many phone conversations he asked what my plans were for New Years Eve...big one for a single girl...or at least this girl....I told him I had several options in the works and he asked if I would like to meet him for dinner. Now he lived in another state about 4 hours from my home.....I said I would think about it...and a couple days later told him yes and well the rest is history...We got engaged 3 weeks after we met in person and 3 weeks after that we had said our I Do's and were on our Loveymoon. Very fast...yes I know...and we have been on this adventure together, loving each other and living in our own little paradises all over the globe for 7 years now!

Meeting online can be a little crazy sometimes though...you never know if the person you are emailing, IMing, chatting on the phone with or texting is the person they say they are or they are lying....until you meet them in person. I had a plan and had several friends and family members that knew where I was and what our plans were as the night progressed. The thing that attracted me to my man is that everything that he wrote and said about himself were honest and true things. He did not present himself to me (online or otherwise) in a dishonest way. So, when we did meet in person and chatted that night and the next day away....he was true...everything he said about himself was true....and I double checked too....and it is still true....and I love him....I do...I do!

Ed and I at Ephesus April 2006

One of my favs of the two of us Christmas 2007

Weaning, Growing, and Dealing

2010-04-21T17:28:00.003-06:00

So...we (the man, Ren and I) are about 1/2 way through his being gone. This is counting the training and deployment...so YaY! I was thinking the other day about how I deal with the man being gone for so long....and I came to the conclusion that I "just do". Not a very clear answer I know....I knew when we married that he would deploy and he has 4 times now...so this is not new to me. Although not living in my own home, staying with family and having Ren are all new things this go round. I am so grateful that my sister and her family were willing to open their home to Ren and I...and our two pups Elliot and Austin. We are a lot of extra to add to a busy home. I love that Ren gets to play with his cousins and spends time with his aunties and uncles. I know he will not remember our time here...but I will. So back to the deployment stuff....I know and accept the fact that the man is deployed and there is nothing I can do to change that...so I choose to enjoy myself, stay busy and not watch the news while he is away. I made the mistake of watching the news his first deployment....I was stressed all the time, didn't sleep well and worried over something I have no control over...so that is something that I do not do. I am working on the quilt (something I do have control over)....I have all my strips sewn in sets of six.....now the cutting down to block size and then the magic of piecing the blocks together.....I can't wait to see how it all turns out.

Ren is growing like a little weed. I can't believe that his is already ONE! We started weaning....Oh I stressed about this...I knew that I was finished ( I intended on nursing Ren to at least one year but no longer than 18 months)...that I did not want to nurse anymore about 2 weeks ago. So...I stopped all day time nursies....including the nap ones. That was not fun....Ren cried and cried at nap time....but then the other day it was like magic was in the air. I took him to the bedroom, told him it was nap time and started to lay him in his crib...he started crying and reached his hand out for my bed....so I laid him down on my bed and he settled down on his tummy with his lil hands tucked underneath him and started talking himself down to sleep. I patted his little back and sang him our night-night songs...in under TEN minutes he was asleep...no crying, no fussing, no nursies....and he slept for a little over one hour...which is pretty phenomenal for him. And then last night and tonight when I carried him into the room...all ready for bed....he settled on my shoulder, tucked his lil hands between him and I....no twisting his body for nursies, pinching me....or crying...I sang him our songs and prayed over him....and put him in his bed....Ren cried for 2 to 4 minutes and then asleep.....sweet baby....although not a baby anymore. I still nurse him in the morning when I put him in bed with me sometime after 5 am....but I have a feeling that he will not nurse at all for very much longer. Bittersweet....I am going to miss our time together.....we started nursing as soon as he was born....right after they wrapped him in his lil blanket. There is nothing I can compare this past year too....nothing I have ever done in my life comes close to the wonder-filled moments of being a Mama.

9 Days and Missing

2010-03-22T19:48:00.005-06:00

To go....till my lil pea-pie is ONE!!!! I can't believe it....well I can....this year has sped by with lightning fastness and I have been enjoying every.single.moment. every.single.day....all of them. The early birthday party went off with out a hitch, we enjoyed a lovely week with the man and are now settling down for the long haul....the days, weeks and months till September arrives and the man returns to the ones he loves that love him.

The drive home after dropping him off at the airport was a bit teary.....Ren asked for Da a lot and I talked through teary eyes that Da had to go bye-bye and he loves us and would be home before we know it. So, I am adjusting, shifting...in my head mostly (does that even make sense?)....Always the nagging in the back that something could happen to the man....that the kisses I gave him at the airport as he shouldered an impossibly heavy bag...could be the last....and I know to shush the nagging to pay it no mind....my man will be fine...he will return home strong and full of missing us. So, I push it away and I don't think about it...
but I do leave his favorite boots at the doorway to our room....sure to see them when we enter and leave...a silent reminder of love and prayers....of missing the one we love.

Ramblings

2010-03-01T19:40:00.005-07:00

Sooooo.....last Friday..my last post...I was all excited and pumped to blog again...to get my thoughts out and just take some time....and then...then I hit a slump...a wall...an I.would.rather.not.be.around.me.either. couple of days.....and well as you saw...or rather didn't see...I did not write. I am still feeling a little funky but thought that I would just get some stuff out of my head.

~My hard working man is coming for a 6 day visit! I am very excited to see him and spend some time together before he leaves for 6 months. I am hoping for a day to the mountains for a hike, a day at the zoo and maybe a trip to the beach...who knows though. We are going to celebrate Ren's birthday a bit early with a party while he is here...so..I have been pretty busy and some-what consumed with nailing down the final plans and figuring all the party stuff out. I decided to go with a pretty generic theme...just primary colors and balloons. I will post some pics of the decorations that I am creating and then of course some of the actual day itself.

~We thought we knew where we were moving to...but the plans have been canceled as far as we know and now where we live after September is all in the air again....not.much.fun to not know. But in military life nothing is official until it is official and then still it might not be official....so I hope we find out something sooner than later.

~My parents leave India today....and are headed for Europe until the end of March. I am glad they were safe while there and can't wait to give them hugs when they get here!

~I have not started training for the run...but as soon as this weather is not so cold/windy/rainy I am getting out there for sure. I did do some yoga stretches today..like two or three and one sun salutation...ha....I so need to start practicing again...I know it will be good for me for sure.

~I am working on a quilt for a friend...her first little one is due in June...It's a girl! Fingers crossed I can get this done in time for her shower the 1st of May.

~I took notice the other day when my niece told me I was on the computer a lot...and I knew that I was...it just took her saying something for me to see just how much. So I have made it a point to not play around/waste time on the computer during the day at all...If Ren is awake...then my laptop is closed. Which has turned out to be a really good thing. Not facebo0king quite so much...thank goodness that place is addictive and can be depressing sometimes too....I like it to keep in touch with family and cousins and long lost friends...but I don't need to post what I am doing....that I ate dinner...what I ate...who I saw...or didn't see...life was just fine before I ever signed on...it will be just fine if I check it once a week or so too. Funny facebo0king was taking up so much of my time...that and reading random blogs....my goodness what did we ever do before the world wide web...and I know...I know that is such a dated term...what is it called now?...Oh I know what we did...we spent time with each other....and we read books and had face to face conversations...don't get me rong though...I heart the www.

~Last but not least...here is a picture of my sweet boy..who is now 11 months and 1 day old...my.goodness.this.year.has.flown!
I love him...I love him...I love him...with my whole heart and then some!

7 Quick Ones

2010-02-19T18:41:00.005-07:00

1. I recently joined an online encouragement and recipe exchange forum...I was able to post several recipes that I created and it was SO COOL that several of the girls have cooked and then posted a good review of my food!!!! YaY...makes me want to get in the kitchen and experiment some more.

2. Ren had a "Date Night" with me tonight and he was so well behaved. I brought Broccoli and Cheese soup from a deli for him and then took him to a Sushi place. He even ate a California Roll (minus the nori)...yum.yum.good.

3. My parents are doing missionary work in India (they have been gone since the first of Jan) and I can't wait to see them....I miss my Momma and Dad.

4. I am thinking of running...yes I said running...the annual Mud Run at Ft. Jackson this year. I have to get my butt in gear and start training! You can read about it here and yes I think I may be crazy!

5. Looks like we will see my Champ of a Man before he "hops the pond"...we are just waiting on dates. YaY!

6. If you ask Ren if he is hungry or if he wants to eat...he starts smacking his lips...it is so funny!

7. I am planning on trying to post a "new post" at least 3 times a week...if not once a day.....I hope I have enough stuff to blog about.

Conversion Diary if you've never read Jennifer's blog....you should check it out!

In the Overflow!

2010-02-18T19:35:00.004-07:00

It's official! I bought my ticket today (my sister bought hers yesterday) we are headed to Atlanta on April 24th to see Beth Moore and say a final farewell to Insecurity! We bought the books this past week and I can't wait to start to read and learn and hear what God has for me and how he is a going to change me. Kelly over at Kelly's Korner has a list of fellow bloggers that will be there (and btw...if you have never stopped in to read her blog...you should...her Harper is the cutest thing and she is a wonderful Mama and Christian). I can't wait to see what God is going to do! I just wish I could take all my sisters and sister-friends with me...ya wanna go? There are still some tickets left...go here for more information and then let me know if you are going to be there!

New Post

2010-02-17T20:46:00.004-07:00

I come to this space often and stare at the empty screen in front of me.....New Post....I know it is there...waiting inside of me, swirling, tumbling all day long and then keeping me up at night...thoughts....waiting for time, to sit and spill and type. And that time has been alluding me lately...I know I have the time...I've just been using it for something else. So, I am going to try and purposefully take the time to sit and spill more often.

We are 47 days into hubs deployment...we have (approx) 216 days to go...yikes! We were blessed to see him for 2.5 days this past weekend and when he prepared to leave...my heart...it swelled with tears...tears that I do not cry, he has to go.... anyway... and I don't like to cry...So I put on a brave face and kissed him and hugged him and held him tight and told him I love him and I will see him soon. Hopefully as soon as next month...right before he leaves the country. Some friends have said to me that they don't know how I do it....I kinda just shrug and smile....this is his job, it's what he does and so being with-out him becomes my job, it's what I do. While he is still just a time zone away it is a lot easier...to know that he is not in danger and that if I needed to reach him that he really is just a phone call away. So next month when that changes and he "hops the pond" my mind set will change...the way I approach my day will change...I know... I will feel a little more fragile but at the same time a lot stronger too....thankfully for now...he is just a phone call away.
So, I guess that is something that I am going to write about here...how I deal...among other things...
That and life with my sweet Babe....who is 42 days from completing his first year! I can hardly take that in. I knew that this time would fly by...of that I had no doubts or disillusionment...and time she did not betray me...she flew...but I relished...every moment as they came and then went. I have a journal for Ren...a for goodness real paper and leather journal so that I can pen his story for him....write of his days...how it all started and then how it goes...on and on and on...and I hope...please Nili fingers crossed.... that I can remember to keep it open with a pen in the pages...and write his words, his actions, his smiles, the ever changing color of his eyes, of his new little pearly teeth...those glorious shaky first steps and the first time he says love you....everything....and then one day when I am old...and there are a couple stacks of paper and leather...I can gift it to him. Daily I am overwhelmed...that I am A MAMA.....when I nurse him to sleep and after he is done nursing I sit in the darkened room holding his sweet growing sleeping self and I marvel and thank God and cry a bit of wonderfilled, happy, overwhelmed...my.God.I.love.this.boy. tears...I am so blessed to be his Mama...to watch him grow and smile and embrace and explore this wide world we live in. What a wonder this journey of life is.....I hope to share a bit more of it with you!

long time no see...

2010-01-17T18:02:00.003-07:00

It's been so long...since Thanksgiving...I can hardly believe it...We have been busy busy here and there and everywhere...Ren, the pups and I are moved to SC and staying with my sister, hubs is in training and we are adjusting...adjusting...adjusting. Nothing like packing up everything you think you may possibly...just can't live with-out...need and driving across the country...makes for a long December and a frustrating start to the new year. But we are getting there...settled that is...at least I hope.

My 35th birthday just passed and while numbers are not a big deal to me...I always evaluate and reevaluate my life, my priorities, how I deal with people, friends, situations,family and myself on my birthday (self reflection is always a good thing...as long as it is constructive). My Dad sends me a card every year...he takes time and reads through cards at the store until he finds one that says "it" or comes close. This year when I opened that wonderful card and read the poem...not only did it bring tears to my eyes...I am so glad my Dad is proud of the woman and Mama that I am!...but it made me stop and think and reevaluate what is going on in my life...in my relationships and in my self-thought. And because I think this poem is good "food for thought" I thought I would share....
From the writing of Emily Matthews

If you can value truth above approval,
and friendship over beauty, wealth, or fame,
If you can share your gifts and talents wisely,
leaving someone better off than when you came...
If you find happiness in simple pleasures
and see the rainbow, not the falling rain,
If you have faith to keep right on believing
in miracles that no one can explain,
If you will look until you see the good in others
and keep your spirit honest, true, and free,
Then you'll be not just happy and successful,
but the woman only you were ment to be.

So my goal this 35th year of my life is to make a conscious effort to do those things and become a better woman, Mama, wife, sister, daughter, friend and become more of the woman that God created me to be.

Thankful...

2009-11-26T21:40:00.003-07:00

I am so very very Thankful for all the goodness that God has blessed me and my little family with...my cup runneth over.

Righting My World

2009-11-19T12:06:00.003-07:00

Hello...Thanks for calling...you have reached cranky, crying...oh.my.goodness.is.that.baby.throw-ing.a.fit Ren Inc. today....how may I help you?
Goodness this baby of mine...so cranky...in his defense...it's the lil pearly whites making their debut but still....and crying...crying but not for real...cause he can't have his way...oh my! I was hoping this fit throwing might hold off for a couple more months a least but no....
Last night at dinner he wanted to hold the spoon...and put his hand out every-time to grab it....which all-in-all is not that big of a deal but it was dinner time and this Mama needs her boy to lean that dinner time is for eating and not playing. So I told Ren no and then tried to keep feeding him. 30 (or so give or take a few) No's later...Ren is crying...but not real tears...just peeking out at Mama every-now-and-then to see if I am paying attention and then when he sees me looking at him he smiles and goes for the spoon...Ha...sneaky lil guy. So, I let him "cry" and just sat there waiting for him to finish. Then when he was done I gave him a couple bites of food and then went and got a little wooden spoon for him to hold while he finished eating...and finish eating dinner he did. I just have to keep telling myself that my will is greater than his!

And in the middle of all the fits and non tear inducing crying and I am frustrated...Ren gives me a lil ole grin....and my world it is righted again...
the end.

Ren Wearing

2009-11-15T07:40:00.005-07:00

Stephanie over at Adventures in Babywearing asked to see our favorite babywearing photos....
I don't have very many of Ren and I but this one....
is easily one of my favorites so far (Ren is 7 months old). This is a Baby K'tan carrier...and my carrier of choice for wearing Ren. It is comfortable, easy to put on and take off and Ren loves it. Here is a picture of me wearing Ren when he was 5 days old his first time in the Baby K'tan...
Goodness he was so little....He slept for 4 hours in there and I LOVED it! I am so glad that there are comfortable carriers out there and I intend to wear Ren as long as he loves it too!

Perspective

2009-10-25T19:16:00.004-06:00

I'm sure you have had them...THOSE days that just happen to come along and something is not right...at least not right with yourself...the rest of the house and everyone in it are just humming right along and you are left standing there wondering 'What the heck? and WHY?'
Well that day was today for me...not wanting to get out of bed at 6:30 to nurse Ren, not wanting to get up and dressed so he can play at 7:15. Twice hoping to lay down and nap when he napped and he only slept for 15-20 minutes. Hubs had a big final paper due today so I couldn't ask him for too much help so I felt like I was on my own for most of the day (which is not a big deal because I am on my own almost everyday it was just that today was Sunday and I wanted a small break). So I ended up crying over the kitchen sink...for no apparent reason...ha...I can think of a million reasons but none of them are good ones that merit me salting the dishwater. So I sniffed back the annoying tears and gave Ren to Ed...a small escape to the grocery store alone would be good....and then I got a cart with the wonky wheel...guess it was just not my day at all....and while I could go on and on about the "stuff" from today but I don't want to re-hash it and I am sure you don't want to read all my complaining.

After the tears and complaining that was going on in my head...the fact (and it is a fact) that I hate my house...I really do...I could list all the things about it that drive me crazy....but then I feel selfish and ungrateful and spoiled. There are lots of people in this world with out...With out running water, electricity, a kitchen, counters, carpet on the floor...a floor at all..
...all the things that made me want to scream about today...there is so many people with out those same things that would love what I have. It's all about perspective right?

So, I hope to go to bed and wake up tomorrow to a much better day....Cheers to Monday!

Pumpkin Time!

2009-10-20T21:50:00.005-06:00

Being a Christian; "It is like being a pumpkin. God picks you from the patch, brings you in, and washes all the dirt off of you. Then he cuts off the top and scoops out all the yucky stuff. He removes the seeds of doubt, hate, greed, etc., and then He carves you a new smiling face and puts His light inside of you to shine for all the world to see."

What a wonderful poem....I don't know who wrote it but I like it!

We took Ren to his first Pumpkin Patch this past weekend.
I can't say he loved it....he could have cared less...hahaha..the things we do....
He did eat some grass and choked on a pumpkin stem...freaked me out to say the least (hubs was on baby duty btw, he did not think it was THAT BIG!). I do want to buy a wagon for Ren now, he really enjoyed the little wagon ride....just sat there all big boy like and took the world in.
We also had our first swing (sitting on Mama's lap) the other day and Ren loved that too. I was hoping to take him back to the park but the weather has not been that great.

Ren's sleep is getting much better (his nights) we have settled into a nice routine for the evening and he is sleeping through the night...YAY!!! Naps however are are a whole different story round here. So, that is what we are working on.....getting Ren to nap in his bed....the last two days have involved a lot of crying (Ren) and massive amounts of frustration and stress (me). But he did nap for 30 minutes (much much much crying) this morning and 45 this afternoon (a lot less crying). So I just have to be consistent and persistent with him and I believe that he will start napping much better.

We are still gearing up for the big move to SC and hubs is preparing for training and deployment. Keeping the house clean, organizing "stuff" and preparing lists of what Ren and I will need to take with us is what is keeping me busy busy around here.

Big breath in....the holiday season that is almost here...Loving on my hubs and spending as much family time around here as possible is what occupies my mind and time....and that is a good thing!
Can you believe we are more that half way through October? Where oh where is the time going?

6 Have Flown

2009-10-07T20:19:00.005-06:00

It's been a while...once again. Just finding time to sit down and put some thoughts together has proven itself a challenge around here. Ren is keeping me on my toes, Mama work is weary work, but a good weary (weary weary weary weary weary...say that a couple times in a row and see if you don't sound like Bugs Bunny).

My little fighter is sleeping better, we have adjusted his night time routine...dinner at 6, then bath, then a little play time, prayers with Dada, then off to his room for a book, nursing, rocking and singing...I am out of the room by 8:20 (we are hoping to push this up a little so he is asleep by 7:30ish but considering he was going to bed 9:30-10ish, we are doing good) He is not crying very long (thank the Lord in heaven) and is waking about 5:30 in the morning for nursing and then back to sleep until 7 something. So YAY...I am a little less stressed.

Nap time however is now the battle we are fighting, Ren sleeps a couple times a day (3 to 4) about 30 to 45 minutes each...and in his swing....so I would like to get him to two long naps (ya know one morning, one afternoon and in his bed) (so I can get some stuff done around here)). Oh and my sweet boy had his six month appointment....he is 16pds 13 oz and 26 1/2 inches long. In his 6 to 9 (or to 12) size clothes. He is sitting up like a champ, loves his jumpy and has the best giggles! We started him on solids and he is eating; sweet potatoes, pears, avocado, banana, mango and cereal...we are trying new things every 4 days. No teeth budding up just yet and he always has his fingers in his mouth.

Ren's 6 month appointment photo

We are getting some stuff done around here...going through closets and organizing spaces to prepare for a move (to SC) and possibly a pack-out and move (to a new base) this coming year. I can hardly believe that half a year has flown by, when the nurse was weighing Ren I could not help but think about our first appointment with them and how little Ren was and how tired I was and worried. Worried that I was doing something wrong, not nursing enough, holding him too much or too little...and a dozen other thoughts swirling in my head and heart.

How did you tackle naps with your little ones?

Wonderment

2009-09-23T06:44:00.004-06:00

Today my heart
it spilled
wet tears of joy
down my cheeks.

I can't believe that I have a son!
One of my very own to love and nurture,
to watch him grow and
guide him as he discovers the world.

I am so blessed and filled
with the wonder of being
his Mama.

Just around the bend

2009-09-18T15:13:00.005-06:00

Big changes just around the bend here in my paradise. Hubs is headed to Afghanistan in March but has an almost 3 month training starting the beginning of January...he will be gone until October sometime. So Ren, Elliot, Austin and I are moving to South Carolina while he is gone. This whole time is bittersweet as I am looking forward to seeing my sisters (I have 7 of them), their families, my parents and all my friends back home...but will miss my Hubs achingly while we are apart. I never really understood the sacrifice that our military men, women and their families make for our freedoms until I become one of those families. Hubs is going to miss a great deal of wonder-filled firsts with Ren and that makes my heart hurt just thinking about it. Ren will probably not really know his daddy when he returns although we have quite a few plans up our sleeves so that he will "see" his daddy everyday.

I am planning on taking a few creative classes while I am in SC, a cake decorating class, a pottery class and if I can find it a stained glass or blowing glass class, I am looking forward to tapping into my creative side and learn new things. I also have lots of fabric for a quilt (yes the very same fabric from sometime last summer) and I am taking all my beading and jewelry making stuff. With this move looming in the near future and lots to do to prepare for it. I am not sure about what to do for the holidays round here.

I'm ready to decorate for Fall, but do I get all the stuff out for it and then transition to Thanksgiving and Christmas? I just can't decide. A part of me just wants to keep the next thirteen weeks (oh.my.gosh.only.thirteen.weeks) as simple as possible and another part of me wants to go all out...this is Ren's firsts after all.

On top of everything else we might be selling the house while we are away so I need to make it ready to "show" and make sure everything is in its proper place so if we are packed out (the movers come) while we are away I won't have too many surprise boxes (nothing like opening a box that has kitchen written on it and there is nothing in it that should ever go in the kitchen). We are going to have to go through our storage room and attic and give/sale/donate the "stuff" that has accumulated in the past 2.5 years (not to mention the boxes that we tote around from house to house but never open to use the contents).

I don't know if I am ready for all the work ahead...I know that I am going to have to use my time very wisely the next couple months so I can get everything done and not be stressed when we are ready to move.
We don't know where we might move to next year...I am anticipating something good (I hope) and just trying to take all these changes in stride.

Sleep oh please sleep...

2009-09-17T19:55:00.004-06:00

Oh my sweet baby is a fighter. This boy does not want to go to sleep. We got back from a week vacation and every time I put him down after he has fallen asleep from nursing he wakes right up and starts crying. So last night DH put him down and the poor thing cried all night(with us checking on him every 15 minutes)....I cried too. When he woke from finally sleeping around 4:45am I got up and got him, nursed and let him sleep with me, I simply couldn't imagine him crying the morning away. So DH is checking on him every 15 minutes and tells him he is loved and rubs his tummy....and still he cries and cries and cries. Tonight he went down at 8:34pm it's 9pm and he is still crying....Oh my Lord....I do not like this. I don't want him to depend on me to go to sleep and I do not want him sleeping with us but I do not like for him to cry like this. Everything we have read tells us that this will take a week or less...I sure hope so, I don't know if my lil mama heart can take much more of this crying.
So, any advice? Did you let your little ones cry to sleep? How long did it take?

today

2009-08-19T13:04:00.003-06:00

Some days just rush by
and others
they are slow
and sometimes there is
loveliness in those slow days
not a dragging by
but time spent sitting
with a sweet babe on my lap
he is sleepy and wants to nurse
all
day
long
and instead of rushing
around
trying to accomplish
this or that
that or this
i get to sit
and marvel
at these slow days
at the wonder of being
being a mama
the beauty of my babe
and
slowly
enjoy
the day.

Magic

2009-07-26T14:00:00.007-06:00

There is Magic in these moments, my days are quickly passing by....

We have settled into some nice predictable days here....I wouldn't say a schedule...I am not a schedule type Mama at all. But Ren is sleeping for 6 to 8 hours a night, breastfeeding and taking his naps during the day well....
Our days go something like this
7-7:30am wake up, diaper change, then we head to the floor for play time
8:30-45ish nurses and down for naps
10:30ish up from naps, diaper change, get dressed for the day and off to do errands
between 12 and 1; nurses, has playtime then down for naps
around 3-3:30 up from naps, diaper change and then more errands or playtime, reading, helping (watching) mama clean, etc...
by 5pm usually nursing, then more playtime, helping Mama or playing with Daddy
diaper change
7pm nursing , quiet play, reading
8pm bathtime
massage, PJ's, books, prayers, nursing
Ren falls asleep between 9 and 10pm and sleeps until between 4 or 6am, nurses and goes back to sleep.
So this Mama can't complain too much. I love these days...seems like there is magic in the air, Ren's giggles, sighs, babbles and sweet baby snuggles are the best! I knew that I would love being a Mama....but I had no idea the depth of this...of these magic days of love.....
Ren and his new Snuggle Bunny from Nova Naturals, I love their stuff and after looking through their catalog....so many things to buy for Ren as he grows and discovers the world around him.

I am planning on introducing Ren to solids between his 6th and 7th month and am reading (Super Baby Food by Ruth Yaron) and preparing to start making his food. I am excited about this transition that is coming up but am not looking forward to the change in poo....yuck!

Speaking of poo...lol..the cloth diapers are still going fabulous...I wash every other day some times every third day and the clothing line outside is a huge time saver. None of the things that I stressed about (getting build up, using the wrong detergent, the diapers retaining smell) have happened and I am loving the Organic Bum Genuis more than I initially thought that I would. They are super absorbent, less bulky and I do not have to stuff them. Although they take longer to dry then the others hanging them outside eliminates that issue altogether.

We already talk of adding to our family..and as much as I want to I know that I am not ready just yet.....and still exclusively breast feeding helps me not stress too much about getting pregnant as my chances are pretty low. If we do, we do...I just don't want to take anytime away from Ren right now. I know that time is fleeting and I will never have this time again...the time of only one child to give my time too. I love the time I get to spend with Ren and the magic of each and every day that we have.

One Year Later!

2009-07-05T16:30:00.004-06:00

Fourth of July 2008 was a weird one....Hubby had recently returned from Iraq (to which I was abundantly grateful), we were recovering emotionally from a failed adoption ((hubby was still in Iraq) I had that sweet baby for 5 days...home from the hospital...when the birth-mother changed her mind), we were on infertility meds yet again (for the umpteenth time in 5 years) and my cycle had just started which meant that we were not pregnant once again. I was missing my family and overwhelmed with the prospects/decisions in front of us. Do we continue fertility meds? Do we do another IUI procedure? Do we stop "trying" all together? Do we continue our adoption paperwork and try to adopt again? Do we just stop everything? We wanted to start our little family so much. There we were sitting in this big open field, waiting for an awesome fireworks display....kids running all around us...and me tears running down trying to take it all in and sending up silent prayers to God...asking for a sweet baby...
And here we are one year later...July 2008 was the month that we conceived Ren...he is now 3 1/2 months old and we could not imagine our lives with out this little miracle boy. God saw my tears and answered my prayers!
Here we are, that same field, exactly one year later! God is so wonderful to us!!!

whew....

2009-07-01T21:55:00.003-06:00

Well, it sure has been a while...we have been quite busy here in our little Paradise...Ren is fully cloth diapered now...we are loving the Bum Genius 3.0 diapers....I love the colors too! We end up washing diapers every other day and Hubs has hung a laundry line for me so these little babes are hanging dry in my backyard every other day.
Ren is 13 weeks now....my baby is 3 months old! Time is just flying by. We have traveled quite a bit since the last 2 weeks of May....we have made trips to Paris, TX; Prattville, AL; Columbia, SC; Greenville SC; Rutherfordton, NC; Atlantic Beach, NC and next week San Antonio, TX. I think that will be the last trip (aside from some weekend trips back to Paris) for quite a while. Ren has traveled more in his first 3 months than most little ones I know....I'm not sure if that makes us crazy or just busy on the go people.
We have settled into a bit of a routine around here (even with all the traveling) and Ren is sleeping through the night (most nights). I am still adjusting to time management and getting house keeping done. I am hoping to get some of the furniture in the house re-arranged to make the spaces seem bigger, less cluttered and house keeping a little easier.
We are still exclusively breast feeding...something that has gotten much easier and a lot less stressful as the weeks have gone by. Reading books, singing songs, helping me with the dishes (you know watching from the bouncy chair), learning to cook and fold laundry...hahaha....are all things that are keeping Ren and I very busy....and then there are; play dates, lunches with Daddy and friends, grocery shopping and running errands....Ren is learning a lot!
I love watching Ren discover the world around him and can't wait to show him more and more!
Oh...and I got the new iPhone! Very exciting...mucho pictures and an awesome app called Baby Brain that is helping me track Ren's sleep habits and times, diapers and nursing times.
We are just scooting along.....excited about the 4th of July celebrations this weekend and fireworks!
I hope you have a safe and happy 4th of July!

7 Quick Ones

2009-06-19T09:45:00.002-06:00

1.
If I could take the roof off and shake everything out of my house (into neat organized piles of course) so that I could reorganize and place what I want/need where I want/need it and store or get rid of the rest. I so want to reorganize my house and with a 10 week old baby...well....one step at a time.

2.
Holidays are wonderful..coming back from the holidays to the pile of laundry and a house that was left in a hurry because of circumstances outside of our control...not so wonderful. I wanted to leave with everything sparkly clean....not so much this go around.

3.
Communication...Communication...Communication...seems as though every aspect of life (personal and spiritual) bode well when there is proper communication going on. Aurgh not looking forward to a couple communications that will hopefully set everything right.

4.
Routine....that's what I am attempting to settle into with Ren, he is sleeping pretty well at night for the most part (except last night)...now to get his day napping, playing, eating....into a predictable routine.

5.
We are officially in all cloth diapers as of today! I was waiting for Ren to be big enough for the Bum Genius 3.0 to fit him properly...no leaks please...and now that we are home from our long summer holiday and I have (know that I have) a washer and dryer (the place we stayed at the beach said that there was a washer/dryer in the room...it was on the 1st floor (we were on the 3rd) and it cost $3 per load) glad we ended up using disposables, I was going to use cloth).

6.
We are doing salads and grilling for dinners this summer, trying to keep everything as light as possible....hubby complains about weight gain (just the normal "your life has now changed" there is a baby and wifey is not cooking as much and we have been out of any normal routine...weight gain) and I am pretty much what I weighed before getting pregnant minus a few pounds and would like to keep it off as well as lose some more.

7.
I was hoping that we would get an assignment and get to move this summer/fall....looks like we may be staying here till next summer....I was hoping to move...plus it would help me reorganize the house...LOL

Check out Jen she hosts & Quick Takes Friday!

Nili

home from the summer holiday...

2009-06-17T11:35:00.003-06:00

home from holiday...check
never wanting to do a long drive across the country with an infant again...check
mail gone through...check
bills paid...check
grocery shopping finished...check
car at dealership getting checked out...check (thank goodness for warranties)
crying babe nursed...check
that same babe down for nap...check

now to...
put away groceries
sort laundry
process laundry
clean bathrooms
clean kitchen
clean floors
organize guest room/study
organize coat closet
purge house of non-needed stuff
organize house
modify the babes schedule for better naps, playing, eating and sleeping
bathe dog
download holiday pics

and the list goes on and on....

lullaby...

2009-05-11T16:34:00.002-06:00

I find myself singing to Ren a song my Mom sang and I am almost certain each of my sisters have sung to their little ones. It is not one of the classic lullabies but I love the song...

Acres of Diamonds
words & music by Arthur Smith

Acres of diamonds, mountains of gold,
Rivers of silver, jewels untold;
All these together, wouldn't buy you or me
Peace when we're sleeping or a conscience that's free.
A heart that's contented, a satisfied mind,
These are the treasures, money can't buy;
If you have Jesus, there's more wealth in your soul,
Than acres of diamonds, mountains of gold

Each time I sing it to Ren I am reminded that there is nothing like having Jesus in your heart. There is nothing better than peace when we are sleeping, a free conscience, a content heart and a mind that is satisfied. I feel like this song is a prayer of sorts also that I am praying over Ren, that he will know and have a personal relationship with Jesus and that he will have all of the things that this song tells us about too.

Are there any special lullabies that you sing/have sung to your little ones?

the cycle...

2009-05-08T16:01:00.003-06:00

we have hit the 6th week growth spurt...whew...this mama is wore out!
Ren is crying because he is tired
tired because he is wanting milkies
wanting milkies because he has hit a growth spurt
he has hit a growth spurt and so this mama is tired

lets hope this will be the short 2-3 day spurt and not a week long one

when he is not crying or nursing or sleeping i get one of these...
and somehow well the crying, non-sleeping , wanting to nurse all-the-freaking-time does not seem quite so bad.
this boy has some personality just a bloomin!

Enjoying

2009-05-07T08:17:00.001-06:00

my mornings of sweet boy snuggles....nothing better in the world....

5 weeks....on Tuesday

2009-05-05T13:00:00.006-06:00

I can hardly believe that my lil guy is FIVE weeks old today (I started this post on Tuesday). It seems like just last week we were bringing him home for the first time. Well not just last week...haha...I would be a little less sleep deprived.
The first couple weeks with him have been an adjustment and I feel like we are fairing pretty well. Ren wore his cloth diapees for the first time last week, too cute!
He only wore them for the day though...his legs are still a bit to skinny for them...we had gaps and while they didn't leak any pee I am afraid of the mess I would have on my hands with poo.
We have had a couple nights of good sleep...thank you baby! we moved Ren to his crib on Monday night and he slept so much better. I am kinda sad to have him in the other room already but....he sleeps better and so do I. Nursing is getting better...Ren is nursing more proficiently and I am feeling more positive about it every day.
I am so excited about seeing his little personality bloom....he makes the best faces already.
What a wonderfilled 5 weeks this has been...I am loving this Mama stuff...

3 weeks today...

2009-04-21T11:50:00.003-06:00

My baby...he is sleeping right now...which is a good thing. He is sleeping in the bouncy chair, the same bouncy chair he slept so well in yesterday...the very same chair he would not sleep in last night. I don't understand this...this night thing....of not sleeping well. I worry it is that he is not getting enough breast milk, maybe I am not awake enough to ensure that he gets a full belly so he nibbles all night long....which makes for a tired Mama. I am okay by 10am usually...and then need an afternoon nap with him so I can do the nights. Hubby has taken to the guest room bed.....and I don't blame him...I worried about his sleep and it is better for me to stay in the room then try to get comfortable in the living room. So, today I am going to try to keep him up a little...not so many nice naps...maybe that will help his night sleeps. We do the whole bright lights, outdoor walks it's DAY TIME little one and then soft voices, low lights and not much interaction for night.

We head to the doc tomorrow to weigh in again. I am hoping and praying that Ren has gained the required 4 oz or more. He seems to be a growing and content baby...if he was not getting enough milkies than I am sure he would be a crying non-sleeping, not-content little boy.

Any advice..I've been reading lots....but you know babies don't come with an instruction manual and if they did...well every manual would have to be different. We are partly co-sleeping after the initial wake up around 1-2am Ren stays with me...but I worry about him sleeping with me and although I know that co-sleeping will work...the problem is that Ren is not getting sleep from that first wake up (1-2am) until 7 or 8 am. We are going to try the crib...with out the sleep positioner (it has a slight incline) for naps today.

So...yeah..any advice for this new tired mama? I sure would appreciate it.

19 days today!

2009-04-18T11:55:00.000-06:00

7 Quick Takes (April 17)

2009-04-17T12:36:00.004-06:00

1.
I did not know that breastfeeding would stress me out this much...I worry over Ren, I knew that as a Mama I would worry over him (that started the moment I knew I was pregnant). But with his weight at birth: 7pd 8oz, week 1: 6pds 10oz, week 2: 6pds 14oz...the doc said that his weight gain was slow but was not worried as long as he gained 1/2 oz a day. I just worry over him...getting enough milk, sleeping well, enough poo diapers...I have been praying over Ren and also for peace and Mama wisdom.

2.
My house is a mess...these floors need vacuumed and mopped, the bathrooms...the laundry...augh...I am keeping up with the dishes though and the recycling makes it to the correct containers in the garage. I am hoping to get in a groove here so that the housework does not seem so overwhelming.

3.
Ren is an easy baby so far...aside from just not sleeping well at night...he is pretty restless and does not stay down for more than 2 hours. So we have some snuggle time in the morning after he eats and I let him sleep on my chest....I so love this sweet time and know that it is fleeting.

4.
We bought the ingredients for the meals that I wanted to have made before Ren's arrival. Now to just carve out the time to make them. I am hoping that I can work on them one at a time during Ren's awake time in the afternoon. He is pretty content to sit in the bouncy chair and look around while I talk to him.

5.
Elliot is feeling a bit left out... he wants to get on the chair or ottoman when I am feeding Ren...I don't want him on the baby blankets...he just looks at me a little sad and curls up on the floor beside the chair. My sweet fur-baby...so sorry Elliot.

6.
Reading the blogs about sick babies and families that have lost their little ones....I just can't do it anymore...I know that this loss happens daily...I just get overwhelmed and stressed by it all.

7.
Oh and check out Jen at Conversion Diary.

this or this....

2009-04-10T12:26:00.004-06:00

so...this is growing in my hallway....
Elliot is the only one here who does not want this mountain tackled....he is rather fond of this growing bed. My plan today was/is to reduce this mountain...then Hubby noticed a leaky faucet in the backyard and turned the water off....so instead I get this.....
Sweet baby... I love baby-gazing...this boy ...my son...he is so beautiful. Now if he would just get his days and nights straightened out. 1am-4am...hello..Mama, I don't want to sleep....rather Daddy...because thank goodness...Daddy has had 2weeks off and someone is making sure Mama gets a little sleep. But, Daddy heads back to work on Tuesday...my sweet boy will be two weeks by then....and we have to figure this out.
Trying to get this Mama thing down....stressing about breast feeding, Ren's weight gain, getting enough sleep, little bit of jaundice to work itself out, just wanting to be a good Mama...
I felt like I had failed Ren somehow when his one week weight was 6 pds 10 oz, his birth weight was 7pds 8 oz, a couple more oz lost than the doc likes to see...we go in again on Wednesday for another weigh in...in the meantime this Mama is working hard to make sure this boy eats...and eats long enough to get the hinds milk.
I know we will get this and figure it all out and Ren will be a fat little baby in no time and I will get my Mama-legs under me...in the mean time...
I will just do some peaceful baby-gazing and enjoy my cuddle-bug....

6 Days New

2009-04-06T18:08:00.001-06:00

I've been waiting to wear this guy on the outside for 9 months...He loved the Baby K'tan wrap and so did I!

Sweet Surprise

2009-04-03T10:59:00.005-06:00

BOTH my boys are sleeping...
Who knew that after my last post on the 30th that I would have my sweet baby the next day? I sure didn't! Needless to say the 10 other things on my To Do list are still To Do, although I did get the wall hanging up in the nursery! And those fabulous dinners I hoped to have waiting for a hungry hurried day in the freezer...not so much...but that is okay...in exchange I received this....
Ren was born at 11:57 am on Tuesday, 31 March...weighing in at 7pds 8oz and 19.5 inches long. He decided to arrive 10 days before his due date...which was okay by me....except I still have that To Do list...I guess I will always have a To Do list.
So Monday night...after hanging the nursery wall hanging, making dinner, cleaning the kitchen and fretting over The List and how much time I had left...my water broke...it was around 11pm. So a call to my Mama...for prayer, a call to the hospital to verify that I should head in, a bag to pack, dogs to let out and in and a hubby to wake...started this whole birth experience. We settled into L&D around 2am, IV started...I was not dilated at all...I could only think that this was going to be a loooong day (you know they say 1st births are looooong). 6am...not quite 2 cm...drugs upped, lights dim, Hubby sleeping...me praying...for strength, wisdom and peace. 8am doc comes to see me...drugs upped again...3 cm...this is going to be a long day...that is all I could think of...I need to keep my strength up..rest...so I asked for something to take the edge off. In and out with contractions...Hubby counting with me, watching the rolling hills on the monitor...encouraging me...loving me. 10am no check...the pain was getting intense, still bearable but not quite able to rest anymore. I thought...Oh ...I am going to be in labor until tonight at least and this pain is only going to increase...I don't know if I can take that...it might be too much...so I asked for the epidural. Hoping for some relief by 11am. Well, 11am came and went..."you are next in line...there are a couple who requested ahead of you"...okay...so breathe..count....squeeze my Man's hand....11:20am...no more rolling hills now spiky plateaus...the pain...oh.my.god... it felt like someone was wringing my body out and trying to tear it in two at the same time. 11:30am..."we just need to get this other bag of fluid in you...you are next for the epidural"...11:45am "honey I need to check you and see how far you are before they can do the epidural"... ARE YOU KIDDING ME...the bed goes flat..the pain shoots up. Wide eyed nurse exclaims..."you are ready to deliver this baby"! I lose it...crying, screaming (yes..I was that scary lady screaming in the delivery room) I am not ready...mentally not ready...Get it together...we can do this...we can do this...he is almost here...just 10 more minutes..and after 1 minute then only 9 more to go...then 8...I can do this. Doc comes in...people scrambling around preparing the room. Okay time to push...Roll up like a ball...deep breath...I remember...A Baby Story...I can do this...5 pushes and Ren is on my chest. Sweet relief...HE.IS.BEAUTIFULl! I can't believe that I have done this...that he was living and growing inside of me. And my Hubby...my CHAMPION...he took such sweet care of me..even though he was just as scared as I was.
So we are home..adjusting, gazing at this boy in wonderment...tag teaming for sleep...requiring patience as we learn him. This is wonderful!

Preperation and Progress

2009-03-30T14:11:00.004-06:00

Long time no post...yep, I am still here...just nothing new going on.....well nothing new aside from my belly getting bigger and bigger and we are now 11 days from my due date. ELEVEN DAYS! I can't believe how fast this has gone by...I know that I have said that time and time again but really...this has been so quick.

Almost done with the nursery, just a wall hanging to hang, a crib skirt to find, a lamp to buy and some stars to decoupage (I think). I was going to do a whole vintage cowboy thing and then well everything is so expensive and I did not want to buy stuff that would be just used for a baby room...and I wanted to use stuff that we already had. We ended up with a colorful room for this lil' guy. The walls were painted a cream color, red went on the dresser and a mirror that hangs over the changing table, dark blue curtains were hung and a bench covered in dark brown corduroy. The wall hanging is from Turkey and a patchwork of colorful wool squares of red, blue, yellow and green. The mobile is already hanging over the crib, I love the colors, the feathers trimmed and shaped into airy flying butterflies. This week we plan to finish up the nursery and I can't wait to show you pictures!

I have printed off recipes for the freezer meals and will be making those Wednesday and Thursday of this week. I am hoping to have at least 10 meals ready to defrost and some freezer bags filled with pancakes and waffles for a quick breakfast (so glad I still have three frozen containers of blueberries). I am making these enchiladas and this chicken spaghetti casserole both from www.thepioneerwoman.com both dishes I have made before, frozen and have eaten recently...I forgot how good they are! I am also making Lasagna, Pork and Sour Cream Enchiladas along with this enchilada recipe...which I love...love...love...really you should try it!
(do you think I have enough enchiladas???)

Chicken Tomatillo Black Bean Enchiladas
by Nili

You will need:
White Corn tortillas
Can of black beans
small can of chopped green chiles
one supermarket rotisserie chicken (southwest flavor if they have it)
jar of Pace's new Tequila Lime Salsa
Kraft (or any kind) 4 cheese Mexican blend (2 cups)
6 or so tomatillos

de-bone and shred or cut chicken into small pieces
drain and rinse black beans
take paper-like husk off of tomatillo, rinse well and dice into bite size pieces, (if you have never tasted or cooked with these before they should be firm, bright green and will have a little stickiness to them when you take the husk off, they have a lemony/lime like flavor)

Mix
chicken, black beans, green chiles, 1 cup of cheese and the diced tomatillos
Pour enough salsa to lightly coat the bottom of your pan.
Pour the salsa that is left into a shallow bowl.

Dip the corn tortilla (some find it easier to soften the tortilla in the micro for a couple of seconds wrapped in a damp paper towel) in the salsa coating both sides, then place in pan, place some of the chicken mix in the center of the tortilla and then roll the tortilla placing overlapping sides down. Continue until you have filled the pan, then spread the remaining cup of cheese over the top.

Seven things are left on my To Do list (I did have 17 whooohooo 10 down) I hope to have everything crossed off by the end of this week so I can make sure the house and all the regular upkeep...dusting, vacuuming and laundry are caught up before I go into labor. So hopefully!

Walking a lot and trying to stay busy...the anticipation is building..I can't wait to meet this little growing miracle!
There are still several things on the list to buy for baby but we can get them after...diapers are washed and ready along with his cute clothes and blankets and stuff...
So just waiting and preparing...glad to see progress!

7 Quick Takes (Vol 2)

2009-03-13T08:25:00.003-06:00

1.
The last 4 week countdown is here....we are finishing up all the "stuff" and hubby said last night that he is going to miss rubbing the Buddha Belly every night...I think I am going to miss those belly rubs too!

2.
I made a hominy side dish last night that was delish...the recipe went something like this...
1 can hominy
1 cup sharp cheddar cheese, grated
1 egg
1/4 cup plus a little more perhaps of milk
1 4oz can of diced green chiles
a bit of salt and fresh ground pepper
a couple slices of bacon cooked and drained
~Mix hominy, egg, milk, green chiles, salt, pepper and most of the cheese together.
~Place mixture in a oven safe dish, oven preheated to 350 F or so.
~Crumble bacon over top of mixture and then the rest of the cheese.
~Cover and cook ( I think it was in the oven for 35-45 minutes)
Yum this was SO good.

3.
My sweet friend Amy and her family are in China right now adopting a sweet girl...Lillian Joy....follow their journey here.

4.
It is rainy here again today...my plan is to stay in my pajamas for the day (if possible). I do need to paint the mirror that is going in the nursery (may require non pj clothing). Did I say it was cold too...it is..COLD...not cold enough for ice or snow but cold enough to make it not worth my while to get out in it.

5.
We have big cross country trip coming up the end of May lasting through the middle of June. Our lil' guy will be in his second month and although I am sure he will travel well...I am already making lists and planning out how this may/may not go....and all this time I thought that I was not a "list girl".

6.
Speaking of lists...my To Do list is not really getting any shorter although I feel like I am making progress. Lots of organizing to do before this baby arrives, mostly the closets and the guest room...not to mention the pantry...My goal...one item off the list per day...I feel like the little engine that could....I think I can, I think I can...hopefully the list will be crossed off before the big delivery day.

7.
I have a hair appointment next week and am going back to blond...I like the brown for a while but then I want to be blond again. So (this picture was last summer) I will be a blond again after Tuesday....oh and on Tuesday I have my BIG start of the 9th month OB appointment. Maybe I will have started to dilate and efface....maybe...hopefully...

Wordless Wednesday

2009-03-11T07:55:00.002-06:00

33 DAYS to go!

2009-03-08T13:55:00.002-06:00

I've been waiting for the weather to warm up so I could wear this top. I bought it at least 12 years ago at a 2nd hand shop for next to nothing. I have worn it before but never while pregnant...and that is what it is a maternity top. 33 DAYS....I am so excited, a little nervous, a little scared but mostly blown away by the wonder of this creation that has been growing inside of me. I can't wait to meet my Son!

7 Quck Takes Friday

2009-03-05T13:44:00.007-07:00

1.
I can hardly believe that I am under 5 weeks now to giving birth and becoming a Momma. Reading birth stories, praying for my labor and delivery and making way too many lists in my head of everything that needs to be accomplished before this lil' guy makes his debut. Hubby and I started our "birth class" last night and while I felt like I already knew a lot of the information I am so glad that we went. It helped Hubby realize the reason for some of the birth plan choices I have made and agree with me...yippeee for that!

2.
Here are just a couple of my favorite photos from our recent holiday to Sedona, AZ

3.
I am planning out some dinners to make and freeze in the next couple of weeks so that Hubby won't have to worry about dinner every night after our lil' guy arrives. So far I have 3 different enchilada recipes and some lasagna on my list...I'll take any ideas you might have!

4.
We have decided to use Cash/Check ONLY for everything. This includes not using the debit card. I stressed a little about this but I know that doing this will make me more aware of the money I spend...nothing like seeing the green leave your wallet and your "bank" get too low before payday.

5.
If you have never visited Jennifer you should, she is the host of 7 Quick Takes Friday.

6.
The nursery is almost complete, hopefully we will have everything done by next weekend. I can't wait to see it all come together and post some pictures.

7.
I have a two page list of TO DO that I need to get cracking on...ya'll have a great weekend!

Thoughts

2009-02-16T22:30:00.003-07:00

~6 years ago today hubby and I married.....marrying him is the smartest and most wonderful things I could ever do for myself....I L. O. V. E. My Love

~My baby belly has gotten SO BIG....I cannot fathom how much larger it will grow in the next 7 weeks and 3 days.

~Our holiday to Sedona AZ last week was wonderful.

~We bought paint for the nursery today.

~Forgiveness and Love are powerful and wonderful.

~This little guy in my belly is having a party..I think.

~It's 11:33pm and I should be sleeping.

~We have decided to keep the lil' guy's name a secret...I LOVE his name!

~My sister is flying in to see me for almost 2 weeks!

~I have no idea why I am writing this post this way.

~I made the yummiest Apple Pecan Bread yesterday.

~Nothing is better than clean shiny newly mopped floors...well unless you did not have to mop them....and your back hurts....but the shine and smell are worth it.

~Heartburn is from hell.

~I need to clear my dining room table of all the paperwork that came out of the office that is now the nursery.

~I did not buy a Valentine or an Anniversary card this year for my hubby...he always forgets to buy me one and then when I give him mine he feels bad and I get sad...so I decided to skip the whole card thing this year...he never felt bad and I never felt sad.

~Hubby brought me breakfast in bed this morning....he is very sweet.

~I can't wait to be a Mom to this lil' guy.

~I hope and pray that I will be an awesome Mom.

~Say HI if you stop by.....

Nili

What??? We are growing a BOY????

2009-02-03T14:58:00.005-07:00

Well...this week has held a surprising beginning. We had our 30 week Ultrasound on Monday and guess what????? We are NOT having a GIRL! We are having a BOY! While I was unable to see the monitor very well...ya know they have you laying down and the screen was not pointed in (my) the right direction....my Mr. Wonderful was able to see everything and this growing babe is a BOY with out a doubt. I am not really surprised...whenever I have just sat and thought about this baby I have always thought BOY...even after the doc was 85% sure we were growing a girl (at a 20 week sonogram). We have waited (thankfully) to decorate the nursery and go all out and buy lots of girlie stuff b/c we wanted to be sure of the gender of this little miracle.

I am a girlie-girl of sorts so a lil' sad to find out that I have to put the couple of cute dresses and shoes away (or save then for some awesome baby gifts) and that I am not going to be a mom to a girl just yet....but...there is nothing like a Momma's boy!

My little guy is measuring in the 60th %, 3pds 9oz (approx)....so 9 weeks and 3 days to go!!! I am nervous and excited. Cloth diapers are bought (although I am exchanging the pink ones for blue ones), I have pretty much everything we need for the first 3 months clothing wise. I had quite a bit of gender neutral stuff and a nice stash of boy stuff from our failed adoption...I actually had more boy stuff then girl stuff after I went through everything yesterday...Hubby is excited about that...ya know less $$ for me to have to spend!

Now we just have to decide on a name and start putting together the little guys room...we are planning a vintage cowboy theme and living here in the heart of Texas well that won't be too hard.

I'd love to know who is stopping by....please say hello with a comment!

Happy Love Month!
Nili

Another Wonderful GiveAway

2009-01-27T00:13:00.003-07:00

Amanda at ohamanda is hosting a fabulous sling giveaway from Raspberry Baby.
Check her blog out and don't forget to check out Raspberry Baby either...I am in love with their skirts and vintage tag blankie. Awesome Etsy site and wonderful giveaway, Thanks Amanda!

Practice

2009-01-26T14:22:00.004-07:00

Elliot helped me practice today.....

He is so funny and surprisingly willing to "practice" and I have a lot to learn....

28 weeks 5 days

2009-01-20T11:12:00.002-07:00

I had the gestational diabetes test today, results come in the form of hopefully NOT hearing from my OB by tomorrow morning. 11 pounds gained so far and lots of heartburn. The Girl's heartbeat was good, lots of movement going on (not surprising with that sugar drink). We have the big 30 week Ultrasound in two weeks, I can't wait to see her and know that she is growing good. This appointment today also started the seeing my OB every two weeks until my 36th week. I spoke to him today about my birth plan and his opinion on a couple things...I feel really good about his answers and the discussion that we had.

The nursery is cleaned out and awaiting new paint...I can't wait to get her little room together! I have several small sewing projects in the works...mostly I am holding out until we return from our holiday to Sedona in February. We have lots and lots planned to do until we return from the holiday and then the lull and waiting...so I wanted to make sure I have some little projects to look forward to, to help that last month pass a little quicker.

I can't believe how fast this time has gone, I know that I have said this before....and I will say it again. i hope you and yours are having a wonderful first month of 2009!

Peace and Joy!
Nili

Sweet Joy

2009-01-18T17:36:00.003-07:00

This weekend Hubby and I attended a local telethon/concert/fundraiser. Hubs won/purchased a much needed gun safe in an auction and I experienced the sweet joy of sharing...which much to Hubs dismay and concern left me quietly crying and then trying to explain...which only helped in bringing a fresh bout of tears (oh hormones...how fun they are).

Babies are JOY...no matter the circumstances that bring them into the world...the miracle of life...the newness of a brand new human...JOY! As long as I can remember I have shared the joy of this newness with sisters, family and friends. Sometimes I was the "I will be excited for you, even though I know this is unexpected and you are unsure of everything...a baby after all!" and other times...."lets get a shower together and make sure this new Momma feels special and the family has what they need". No matter how hard for me (infertility for 5 years is a journey in and of itself) when I have heard of a friend becoming a Momma for the 1st or 5th time I am excited...excited for them...for the new life that is created...the process of newness...such joy.

So last night at this concert a woman asked when my baby was due and I shared with her...the JOY that came from her....it overwhelmed me...but in a really good way. She asked if this was my first and then told me congratulations with the biggest smile as though we shared some sort of secret....and I suppose we do although I have never met her before.

I was overwhelmed and still become so when I think about this sharing of sweet joy. For a stranger to share my joy...for my sisters, family and friends to share this miracle of life, this joy and to become a Mama and smile and share in this secret of giving life....it's just sweet joy!

28 weeks down...12 to go

2009-01-16T10:03:00.003-07:00

84 more days and counting till due date. I am feeling great. Somewhat tired (I expected this) and sleeping is good as long as I have plenty of pillows for support and don't mind the roll and shuffle to the toilet. Her kicks are getting stronger and her total body movement feels really weird.

I am reading The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding right now. I plan on breastfeeding and would like to exclusively for at least the first 6 months. It amazes me how many women (SAHM) I know choose not to breastfeed their baby...there are a lot that do don't get me wrong...how something so pure and natural can be discarded so quickly is sad to me (some women cannot, this I know and I also think that if a new Mom does not have support, continuing to breastfeed through pain and complications can be very hard). My Mom fed all eight of her girls and my sisters have all breastfed their children so I never questioned myself...breast or formula...I've always known that I would breastfeed.

Hubby and I are finding new homes for all the stuff that was in the study. Our guest room is now the study/craft room/guest room. We have just about everything for the nursery now, just need to pick out a paint color, paint the dresser and get everything in there and organized. I can't wait to see it all together. We have a fabulous wall hanging and a handmade carpet from our tour in Turkey that I bought with a nursery in mind.

The bumGenius diapers arrived on Wednesday...they are so cute! I am still a little intimidated at the process of cloth diapers but am determined also. I bought 12 and am planning on waiting until I actually try them on her little bum before I buy 12 more. I still have to get the wet bags and a couple more doublers/inserts along with a diaper sprayer. I am also looking for a bum spray/bottom cleaner that I can make myself. The ones that I have seen online are pretty pricey and I know that I read a recipe on a blog somewhere....I just need to find it again.

Hubby and I have a small vacation coming up to Sedona in February (long car ride...but we know I am going to have to stop and walk and pee). When we booked this vacation I was not pregnant...we planned on lots of outdoor hikes and Grand Canyon bliss....that is all going to have to wait, although we can walk to the rim and see! And I think the walking and getting out of the house will be great for me. I will be at the beginning of my eighth month and hope that I will feel good then as I do now.

I hope you are having a fabulous January! oh and by the way....looks like we are staying here...no big moves projected for now!

Peace and Joy!
Nili

YUM!

2009-01-09T20:20:00.002-07:00

So...I have had this recipe knocking around my brain for a while and Hubby's parents are visiting so I thought I would try it out...nothing like having a few extra tasters at the table! I have no idea what you would call this dish, maybe an Green Olive and Chicken Spaghetti, I don't know.

Here is what you need, this is for 4 adults:

3 (6 oz) jars quartered & marinated artichokes (drain all but one jar)
1 (10 oz) jar of sliced Spanish Olives with pimientos (well drained)
1 (14.5 oz) can of petite diced tomatoes (well drained)
1 rotisserie chicken ( try to get Italian herb flavor if you can)
Skinny Spaghetti noodles

Here is what to do:
Put water on to boil to cook the noodles
De-bone the chicken and tear into bite size pieces
Add the artichokes, olives, tomato and chicken with the liquid from the 1 jar of artichokes into a skillet or large sauce pan over low/med heat, you will want to just heat up the stuff, not saute it or cause any of the vegetables to break down.
After the noodles are done, drain, add just a tablespoon give or take of Extra Virgin Olive Oil and
toss well.
In a large serving dish add the noodles and the chicken and vegetable mixture ( I left out the sauce that was in the pan) toss and serve while hot. We added a hot loaf of garlic bread and a bottle of white wine.

This could easily be a Vegetarian meal just omit the chicken. This meal took me about 15 minutes from kitchen to table.

Let me know if you try it!

Peace and Joy!
Nili

want one of these...I do!

2009-01-08T10:39:00.003-07:00

Mr. Wonderful and I are in need of a new printer...our old one is dead...very dead. So...I am entering this fantastic fabulous Epson Artisan 800 giveaway at Mommy Coddle....ya never know when you might win something.

here, here or here....

2009-01-08T08:58:00.002-07:00

My last post....Korea...well that was just a teaser from Mr. Wonderful...he calls me yesterday morning....5 choices...well 6 really
1. stay here
2. Korea
3. Guam
4. Japan
5. Azores
6. Alaska

Oh My...
needless to say yesterday was spent looking up lots and lots of information and talking with my sister, having a long lunch with Mr. Wonderful and more research and more conversation. We narrowed it down to two...which two you ask (all my 3 dear readers) well I am not saying just yet. Hubby has more research to do and more praying needs to happen and well a decision will have to be made but we are not rushed, which is a very lovely thing...Nothing like having to make a where-we-gonna-live choice under the gun of a time crunch.

So, where would you go? Ya know if you had my choices (not really mine you understand...there would be some East coast assignments as well as a couple European ones if they were my choices)...but still....what do you think???

adventures

2009-01-05T19:36:00.005-07:00

Being a military spouse and living a military life is not "normal" life. Staying put, growing some deep roots, enjoying lifelong friends that live in the same town, having family near by, speaking the same language as those around you...the list goes on and on...

Hubby comes home today and asks what would I think about moving to Korea....hmmm...these little (hmmmph) questions come up every now and then. Geezzz..moving...of course I immediately start looking up information on the base, the housing, trying to find information out there in webland of folks that have lived there recently or are living there.
My first answer is...that would be cool...I mean to live in another foreign country, learn new customs, foods, see more things that I would probably never even think about seeing.

But then....all the other stuff...we are about to have a baby (who would be a couple of months old before we would move)...how long would we live there (3 years) ....flying (talk about looooong flights)....hmmmm... Korea is in the east so we would leave from the west coast...that would be some long flights to go see family in SC if we moved there.
Am I prepared and willing to live in a little bubble world again (like Incirlik, Turkey)? I wouldn't be able to read Korean, speak Korean or communicate effectively (well I could learn). The housing is high rise apartments....no backyard...Austin is a Brittney Spaniel (and still a puppy)...he needs lots of running room and his poops are big....this would mean that he would become an inside dog, would he get along with Elliot all day in the house, would Elliot get along with him?....would I be ready for that? How would I decide what minimal amount of stuff from my home that we would pack and take and what would we pack and store? What if we get there, get settled and I don't like it? What if something big happened with North Korea? Would I be ready for all the other "stuff" that living overseas brings? The idea of living on the other side of the world is exciting...and scary at the same time.

The funny thing is...we will probably not move. These possibilities pop up and we have to discuss and do a little research and then think about the big picture...the future...Hubby's career. Sometimes I think if it is good for his career I am on board, however...I am holding out for a European assignment or an East coast one. I really am. Nothing will probably come of our 7 minute conversation tonight about moving to the other side of the world. And if something does I will be a little prepared, just a little.

Oh the joy and adventure of this ride.

Happy New Year!

2009-01-03T17:14:00.002-07:00

2009 is already here...seems like 2008 flew by....lots and lots happened in 08...Hubby deployed in January for 4 months to Iraq, I traveled the USA...visiting friends and family...In May right before Mother's Day and a couple weeks before Hubby returned from Iraq I flew from TX to SC to adopt a little boy. My first Mother's Day...it was bittersweet. I brought him home on Thursday from the hospital, the birth parents signed the paperwork on Friday and the Monday after Mother's Day the birth mother called to say she changed her mind. Tuesday she went to the lawyer to sign new paperwork revoking the original and I took him to her home Tuesday night. On Friday I was back home in TX...what a whirlwind. Hubby returned, we wept and took care of each other, spoke of this loss and resolved that we would start a family somehow.

After 5 years of unexplained infertility, lots of drugs, shots, procedures, grieving the loss of a would be child month after month, a failed adoption and then the overwhelming thoughts that we would have to start all over again....IT happened. I was late, I thought maybe I am pregnant and then decided I had played that game with myself month upon month, year after year....I should just accept that we were not going to get pregnant. I started to have some light cramping, going to bed in the middle of the day...to cry it out, accept yet another month of lost ability and this promise of a child right outside of my reach...I laid there, grieving, my little Elliot curled up beside me....then well..life will go on....I got up and proceeded to put the disappointment behind me. Late that night after still not starting I decided to take a test...and the rest is as is said history.

I am now on week 26...one week away from the start of my third trimester. I am feeling great for the most part. She has changed position recently and the physical feeling of carrying her inside of me has changed. The weight in my pelvic area is new and her movement areas have changed. Last week they were on the sides of my belly and now I feel her more everywhere. I know she has grown by where I can feel her....sometimes I feel movement at the top of my belly and at the same time at the bottom or on one of my sides. I've started to go to bed earlier...not to go to sleep...but sit in the quiet and feel her movement....enjoy the miracle of what is going on inside of me...revel in it...contemplate and allow myself to be absorbed in the idea of a daughter...of me becoming a Mom.

This past 20 plus weeks have been quite the journey. Much to do in preparation for her arrival, diapers to buy and wash, a room to set up, more books to read...more quiet evenings of reveling to enjoy. On New Year's Eve when the clock stuck midnight and my Hubby held me in his arms with our little girl moving in my belly...the THREE of us together...I could not help but marvel at the wonder and newness that this new year is going to be bringing to our door. I've said that 2000 was a wonderful year for me....my favorite so far...I'm pretty sure 2009 will surpass the wonderfulness of 2000 and I can't wait to live this year out!

Peace and Joy!
Nili

Merry Christmas

2008-12-23T11:29:00.003-07:00

Dec 23 already...my, my where does the time go? Hubby and I are heading to his parents house for a couple of days...my house is CLEAN...I wore myself out yesterday making sure everything was spic & span before we leave for the lil' holiday. Austin got a bath and Elliot is heading to the sink for his bath, right after I return from running some quick errands. I had an OB appointment this morning, everything is looking great, her heartbeat is quick and strong...155..my blood pressure was great and I did not gain any weight in the last 4 weeks. So, that brings me to a total of 8pds gained so far....I only have 15 weeks and a couple of days left....which in and of itself freaks me out...excites me....and overwhelms me...I can't wait to meet my girl! So my next appointment is to drink the sugar water and have my blood taken...then two weeks after that the BIG Ultrasound ...we need to confirm that this girl is growing good and she is in fact a girl! Then it is an appointment every two weeks after that....this is flying by.

My first babywearing wrap came in, a Baby K'tan, I put Elliot in it to test it out ya know and he loved it...I will have to take a picture next time and post it...funny lil' dog....I guess I can practice around the house with him....I also ordered a Cherry Bomb from Nonny & Boo, picked up my first of many cloth diapers...I am going to try out the Fuzzy Bunz and Bum Genius 3.0 (the One Size and the S, M,L size)....I figure that I will figure it out as I go....we will see which one works better. I also have most of the nursery stuff bought...just want to make sure there is a girl in there before we start decorating...otherwise eBay here I come....I can't wait to get it all together.

I hope you all have a very Merry Christmas and a wonderful New Year's Eve (I think that I will be sleeping...imagine that)!

Peace and Joy to you and yours!
Nili

Something Absolutely New

2008-12-12T14:11:00.012-07:00

WOW!

I just looked in my sidebar...17 weeks to go...I-AM-SO-EXCITED...17 weeks is not that long, that's only 4 months and a week.....oh my, oh my...and then my sweet baby girl that I have been waiting on and praying for, for FOREVER will be here. 17 weeks...just makes my eyes fill up with tears. I can feel her...moving around in there...bumps and flops...sometimes feels like I have swallowed a fish and it is just swimming round in there. My, my...and we are starting to have a little sprinkling of baby stuff around here...stuff for THE GIRL!
And of course I have to share....

This is the wonderful butterfly mobile that I found on Ebay...it's hanging in the corner of the dining room, I can't wait to see it in her room.

A sweet Flower Baby that my friend Stephanie made...

A spring dress for the girl...on sale for almost nothing at Ross
Another little dress....
Two pair of shoes....I am loving the silver Converse One Star!!!!
And me....23 weeks down...17 to go. I'm thinking I should take a picture in the morning, I seem to grow through out the day. I am living in American Eagle sweatpants....they are wonderful, soft, warm...and fit just right (with a Bella band of course).

I am so excited, here we are...here we are...the girl is on her way...I have a folder on my desktop with HER name on it....and a "baby stuff" bookmark in my favorites that is getting way too long....and a heart that is just filling up, stretching out and over-flowing with love for my GIRL!

I don't need anything for Christmas...I have it already...This...this welcome to mommyhood... this change going on in me is the best gift God could have ever brought Mr. Wonderful and I!

This quote...." The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new." ~Rajneesh

I love that I am becoming "something absolutely new"!

Peace and Joy!
Nili

Christmas is up!

2008-12-11T15:50:00.006-07:00

Well, my meager Christmas decorations are done. We did not put up the big tree with all it's wonderful lights this year. Just too much that has to be done to make that happen. The dresser in the guest room would have to be moved to make space for the desk that is in the dining room. The desk has to be moved to make room for the smaller couch that is in the living room and the couch would have to be moved to make room for the ginormous tree. After we went to the storage room and pulled the Christmas boxes and crates out, Mr. Wonderful, who would love to have the big tree out said, "why don't we just move the black chair and put the big tree in the corner?" Once I explained that our tree in all her twinkling lights and Christmas glory would not fit in the corner and what would have to be moved in order to give her room...the moving that he would have to do mostly by himself...cause ya know I can't move heavy furniture....he quickly changed his mind. So, here are the decorations....
First, my lovely door wreath...I wanted to do a "winter" wreath instead of a purely Christmas one, so I can use it for the rest of the winter.
The little stars have been sitting patiently in my craft box since...well I think 1997 or something like that. They were from a little project that I did with a pre-school class that I taught. They were just plain dough baked stars and the K is a little wooden one that I bought at the craft store. A little silver paint...and a wreath is born.

Since we opted not to move all the furniture...I bought another small tree and decorated it to match some glass birds that I bought at Target. The tree, birds and a couple of pine cones were perfect for the fabulous hand painted bird on a branch table runner I bought from Kimba at her Etsy shop.
Here is another view of the table...don't mind the stack of gifts that are waiting to be wrapped...and hey did you notice? I have my K's up!

And then there is the mantle..and I know a fabulous larger than life garland is just begging to make it's home there...this mantle is just too perfect to not have a garland. But funds are limited this year and well....I did not have the mother-load of garland and garlandy stuff just sitting around the house...so I will have to make one next year..So here it is, my mantle, I can't do a close up...the dang thing is too long, but...I do have the second mini tree, my Christmas tree star-topper collection, a nativity and the Christmas angel (that is usually looking out over the room from her regular place, on top of the tree).

And not to be left out...last but not least....
A little iron tree, my ornament tree for this year. There was no way that I was going to keep all these packed away for another whole year...so I found this tree 50% off at Kohls and there ya go.

I guess I am a little sad that the big tree is not up and out this year. But, I am glad to not hassle with it. The work of moving the furniture around the house, getting the tree up and all the lights working and then not having that extra sitting room in the living room...the month that we need it the most...some times it can be good not to put up the big tree.

Hope you are having a wonderful couple of weeks before Christmas!

Peace and Joy!
Nili

In Preperation...

2008-12-05T07:48:00.003-07:00

This is my Elliot...
he will be 8 this March...He was a gift from my sister...I told her I didn't want a dog, that my lifestyle was not conducive to a dog, reminded her that I lived on the 3rd floor of an apartment building and worked 8 to 12 hours a day and then went out...not a girl-needs-a-pet-to-care-for lifestyle. She grinned at me and put his little fur ball self in my hands (he was tiny) and stated that I needed something to love that would love me back (I was a newly divorced) and that if I did not love him in a week to bring him back. That was May 2001....I LOVE him. Elliot is my fur-baby, cuddle-bug and I LOVE him...I know I already said that but tis true. He understands me and for the most part I him. Walking through 5 years of infertility, 2 deployments, overseas moves, days when I wanted nothing more but to stay in bed and shut the world away....Elliot has been there...curled at my side, sleeping on my lap, licking my arm, sneezing and snorting at me. He alerts me to danger, travels the world on my lap and has given me love....there is something about that dog.
In finding out that we were pregnant, Elliot found out too...I don't know how, he just knows. If I move from the chair to the couch he gets up and moves with me, if I go to the kitchen to get water he walks with me..down the hall to the bathroom he sits in the hallway and waits. Elliot knows and has become even more protective of me.
All that wonderfulness wrapped up in a little fur-baby...who has now apparently decided that he needs to prepare me for this baby...for the past couple night he has woken up (or rather woken me up) with sneezes and snorts (his way of communicating) to let me know he has to go outside....at 145am, 330am and 500am....geezzzz....the first time I got up and let him out, waited by the back door...baby it's cold outside...and let him back in...taking my tired, I-can't-seem-to get-comfortable self back to bed. The 2nd time the first night I put him out the bedroom door and closed it...telling him NO and proceeded to go back to sleep. In the morning Mr. Wonderful found a little present near the front door...not a nice present and no one wants to clean that stuff up first thing in the morning or anytime for that matter. So, the next night I got up each time and let him out and then let him in and then let him out and then let him in...you get the picture. It has been too cold outside for him to just stay out otherwise he would...and the next night and the next and last night...this has to stop!
So, I am being prepared I guess....cause when this baby comes....the sleepless nights, feedings, diaper changes...yes I know.
I just hope he is not getting sick or something...that this a a weird phase. Austin (our Brittney pup) is sleeping inside too, in his kennel...maybe Elliot knows he has free reign in the backyard, no Austin to bug him? Mr. Wonderful said to cut out his food by noon and no water after 8pm...thinking that will help...I don't know...
I guess we will find out....

Just breathe...please

2008-12-01T22:26:00.003-07:00

Well, I've been smacked down with a major breathing problem...my nose is completely stuffed and I mean stuffed..I don't think I have EVER had a "cold" or whatever this is...this bad. I read up on the pregnancy stuffiness and well I have it BIG time. And now not to be undone, my lungs have decided they want to play "lets get sick" and I am now developing a nasty cough...to which my hubby looks at me in alarm and states " you're okay right? is sweet potato going to get sick?" Yep, I'm okay, just want to breathe here...
~Box of tissue...check...oh hold on it's empty...and I just bought it on Saturday...back to CVS
~Humidifier...check...but I have to carry it from the living room to the bedroom when it is time for bed..I hope it is really helping
~Getting sleep...hmmmm..not checked...I have to sleep propped up but on my side, then my hip hurts so I change to the left side (after a trip to the bathroom) and then my nose starts to drain...so I lie there with a tissue clutched in my hand, trying to sleep..trying to concentrate on not dropping the tissue..and then I can't breathe...
~Trips to CVS (and spending way over my budget for the month on CVS stuff) with approved medication list from my OB clutched tightly in hand...hoping to find something that will cure this misery.....check....but cure...ya...uhmmm....not checked
~Sitting for moments... that I probably would be doing something else like preparing for Christmas and all the craziness that this month can bring if I let it....to breathe because that is what I need...a little quiet...a little introspection on the miracle happening inside me....ummm...check

That has been my life for the last couple of days with a few highlights in between....
I bought my girl her first pair of shoes...little silver One Star Converse crib shoes from Target! I could not resist and a girl can NEVER have enough shoes...I have a sneaky suspicion that she will have shoes, shoes, shoes and more shoes!

The Pottery Barn Kids Butterfly Mobile that I ordered on e-bay came in today! YAY!!! I LOVE IT! Hubby was even impressed! It is hanging in the dining room right now because the study is not anywhere near converted to a little baby girls room...and I want to enjoy it now...to bad I can't hang one in my room...haha...

Christmas is not up yet....I am behind apparently...but am okay with that...it's the breathing thing that has taken priority...but I do have my winter door mat out and while my fall wreath is still on the door, I do have the stuff to make my winter wreath...guess I might be getting on that tomorrow.

My parents are coming in tonight..in an hour give or take...I did not mean to be up this late...but the breathing thing again...and I am reading the Twilight books...way too easy read...I guess that is why they are "teen fiction" and way too easy to figure out what is going on...but they are entertaining.

Mr. Wonderful is feeling the girl move a little more often and the wonder-of-it-all that is in his face is PRICELESS...I am loving this process of making a human...thankful that God has given me a chance to be a Mama...

I hope you are having a wonderful first week of December...remember to breathe...in the hectic pace of all that is this month...take some time and just breathe.

Nameste'
Nili

The days after....

2008-11-29T08:06:00.003-07:00

Hi Ya'll! I can hardly believe that Thanksgiving 08 is behind us...we are now 21 weeks pregnant and are 90% sure that we are having a GIRL!!!! I am beyond excited, I know that I would be excited either way but....I grew up in a large family with 7 sisters so...girls well...it just seems natural to me to have a girl first. Now if this little growing one turns out to be a boy...well I have always wanted a lil' boy too, so either way I am a winner!

Thanksgiving this year was mostly quiet, Mr. Wonderfuls' parents came down and we all headed over to a friends house to celebrate the day with her and her extended family and freinds...YAY...I did not have to cook...I did make a casserole dish but that was it! And my in-laws came bearing gifts of Thanksgiving foods so the fridge is full and we are enjoying "leftovers" here in Paradise for the next week...and for that I am very grateful as I am dealing with a nasty head cold and would rather not cook anything if possible.

So....Christmas is here....at least it is starting to make it's appearance here in Paradise. New trimmings are waiting for the door wreath, a small tree has been purchased for my favorite ornaments and I am waiting on Mr. Wonderful to come home from a hunting morning so he can help me get the boxes out so I can get started. We are not putting the big tree up this year...at least I don't think we are....Mr. Wonderful seemed kinda sad that I was not planning on putting it up so..I'll let him decide...we just have to move furniture around and a lot of it I usually do and I can't this year...so rather than hassle with it I thought we would skip it...I guess we will see.

I hope you and yours had a wonderful Thanksgiving, I know we did...there is so very much to be grateful for...my heart gets overwhelmed with it all. If you drop by leave a note!
Nili

almost halfway there....

2008-11-20T11:11:00.003-07:00

Tomorrow is the day...the start of week 20! We are halfway there...only 20 more weeks and this growing little one will make his or her appearance. Mr. Wonderful is certain that we are having a girl....he is so sure of it, I think maybe he is saying that because he would love a boy and is setting himself up to not be disappointed...so in his head...for now...until we know (hopefully) on Tuesday...we are having a girl. Me, I don't know, part of me thinks this is a boy...but for the most I don't know. If it is a girl I will rest a little easy...because we have already agreed on a name, if it is boy... some more discussions will start because we have not (although Mr. W thinks that we have...but I don't want to "discuss" something that we may not have to) agreed on the name. Mr. W is an only child, he is a III and his parents expect and he has also wanted that we name our boy a IV, and while this is all well and good, and I like passing down a family name...I just don't want to call my son by that name, the short versions, the middle name, none of it....We have discussed naming him the IV and then calling him something completely different. Which in part I am okay with but what about when he is older, what about when he starts school, how will this work? I just don't know and am undecided....do you call your babies by a name different then their given name?

I had a hair appointment on Tuesday....I got bangs! and several inches cut....
I like it, I have not had bangs since the 10th grade and well I don't know if I will keep them but it is a nice change. I was thinking of going a little shorter with the long length and then a little more choppy with the bangs and on the sides....I don't know...my next appointment is a couple days before Christmas so I have some time to think about it all.

We find out TUESDAY!!! How I wish today was Tuesday....I so want to know that this baby is growing perfectly, that I am doing a good job. I just want to know that "everything is how it should be". Mr.Wonderful asked me last night if I am worrying because I think something is wrong...no I told him, just worrying...that's what mommy's do.

It is amazing how fast babies grow, this little one legs are about 4 inches long and the tiny sweet feet that I can't wait to kiss are 1 inch long....18 weeks from conception and dividing cells to legs 4 inches long and a perfectly formed baby! We read every Friday the changes that the baby has made and will make in the coming week...I love Fridays! Last week I was on the way to a friends baby shower and had some 80s music playing...this little one was just a moving and a grooving inside of me, I have never felt that much movement at one time for that length of time...and then of course after the punch and some cake...there was more movement. I can't wait to feel this growing one more and more....movements that tell me that everything is good and this baby is just a growing!

I hope you are having a great day! If you stopped by..leave me a comment...I would love to know who is reading!
Nameste,
Nili

Fabulous Quilt Give Away

2008-11-12T08:19:00.004-07:00

Dana at Old Red Barn Co.
is GIVING AWAY..yes giving these 3 fabulous quilts away to three lucky winners. I am in love with her quilts and when I didn't win at her last give away I went out and bought the identical fabric ...because I loved it so...to make my very own fabulous quilt...which I have yet to start and the stack of lovely fabric is still sitting on the corner of my desk....I've got to get started! So anywhooo go and visit Dana here.... www.oldredbarnco.blogspot.com or click on the link at the top right of my page and check her quilts out....and well if you must enter..I know I am doing EVERYTHING I can to get the most entries possible...hello baby needs a new fabulous beautiful quilt!

Sweet Sleep....where oh where are you?

2008-11-10T14:38:00.002-07:00

Here we are week 18....the first week of the 5th month, I can hardly believe how fast this time is flying. This pregnancy so far has gone very well, no morning sickness, no really horrible headaches....the ones I had were allergy related...took me way to long to figure that out, weight gain so far steady and slow, no huge mood swings...so pretty well. And now...now...I am having the worse time sleeping, aside from waking 3 or more times a night to pee...and I know that is just going to increase...I cannot seem to get comfortable for the life of me. Here I am finally comfortable (or mostly) and am sure Mr. Wonderful is screaming (in his head) for me to stop moving around...and then I have to get up and pee AGAIN. Of course the whole cycle starts all over again. This morning I went and bought a Boppy Total Body Pillow at Target....I can't wait to try this pillow tonight...I hope it works...I hope sweet sleep while not leave me stranded...waiting, tossing and turning...I'll let you know how it all works out.

The Day After...

2008-11-05T15:34:00.007-07:00

Here we are, new president in the wings....I am proud to be an American, proud of my country, proud of my freedoms! I didn't vote for the president elect....I am however interested to see how he does, what he does and how the American people will respond. I have always been proud to be an American and living in a foreign country from 2005-2007 made me even more American in my heart. Being a Air Force spouse and saying goodbye to my Mr. Wonderful every 12 months for three, four or six long months....gives me a greater appreciation for the sacrifices that the countless brave men, women and their families have made every day since the founding of this nation...instills a pride of America in me. I cannot stand and place my hand on my heart and pledge to Our Flag...with out crying. Nor can I stand and raise my water glass in honor to our MIA and POWS with out realizing the sacrifices that our made for this freedom we hold so dear.

That being said I do not understand how someone can say "Now, I am proud to be an American..."or "After eight long years I am proud to be an American." and no I am not speaking of Mrs. Obama (although that does cause me to pause)...I am speaking of several friends of mine. My patriotism does not come from who the President is, what political party is in "power", how other people and other countries view America....No, my patriotism and love for America comes from inside me...from my core values, beliefs and life; from who I believe this country is, the hope she offers and the freedom she gives. Other friends have said "Well, I am sure glad my vote counted in this election" as if somehow mine did not or their vote did not in the past if they voted for the "other guy". That is like saying, I do not want to play the game if I cannot "win". Sorry folks someone always has to "lose". But that does not mean that your vote didn't count or your voice was not heard.
These next four years will be interesting, these last eight have been interesting. I am willing to give Mr. Obama a chance...why not, don't we all deserve a chance....I am also going to pray for him and for this country. I hope you voted, I hope you exercised your right to make your voice heard...a right and a voice that many on this great planet do not have...a right our brave men and women continue to fight for. Whom ever you voted for I hope that you are proud to be an American!
I know I am.
Nili

Baby Movement!

2008-10-25T17:50:00.003-06:00

So....here I was the other day....just a stressing out...and I thought that I may have felt the baby move last weekend but was not sure. Then today......OHHHHH TODAY.....I am sure that I felt this little one move!!!! Mr. Wonderful and I did some yard work this morning and we were relaxing on the hammock...talking about our spring garden plans, the fact that we need to replace the whole back fence, the baby's arrival in April and all the other stuff that this paradise of a life is bringing us. While we were talking I felt IT, AGAIN...now I thought the other day I might have...so I told my Wonderful...rather exclaimed to him...I felt the baby move...I'm sure that is what I felt! So he pressed his hand on my tummy..Mr. W, I said, you probably won't feel it on the outside yet...but then he said...I felt something..was that you? No...not me...I felt it too from the inside....It's the BABY! We almost started crying...big grins...big thanks in my heart! He kept his hand pressed and WE both felt the baby move around a couple more times....
I'm so very grateful that God heard my stress and my heart the other day and he decided that today was the day...

Mr. Wonderful, and our pups...Elliot and Austin

16 weeks

2008-10-24T10:46:00.003-06:00

16 weeks today...I thought I would "feel" more pregnant...whatever that is supposed to "feel" like. I don't know and my belly is still quite smooshy...I thought that it would get harder...not that I have any rock hard abs to help out in that area. And I so want to feel the baby move, I think to myself that when I start to feel the flutters that I will be at peace more that everything is okay. The waiting 4 weeks since that last appointment to hear the heartbeat or see the baby is soooooo looooooong. When I woke up this morning and looked at my belly in the mirror, in some ways it does not look that different then when I weighed a lot more than I did at the start of this pregnancy. 11 years ago I was well over 200pds and while I am well under that number at this point, I remember my body from when I weighed that much. I guess it is just my mind playing tricks on me...I just want to know that everything is okay that the baby is growing and developing right. At the end of this 7 days....next Friday...I will be on month 5!!!!! Whooohoooo, time is flying by.
I guess I just want to be assured that I am feeling and growing just like I should. OB appointment on Tuesday so I guess just a couple more days until I can rest a little easier.

End of week 15

2008-10-23T17:58:00.008-06:00

Here are my first belly pics (well the first I am posting) these are both 15 week pictures. The first in Sepia and so sorry not that clear...when I say I am interested in photography it is obviously not my own photos apparently I need to learn to use my camera features.... I was hesitant to post photos of the belly but after several friends called with a hello where are the belly pictures..well I had to post. Or they are just going to have to travel a thousand plus miles to some see the growing belly! Ha! The one is color is a little better with detail. Now I had only gained 2 pounds by my 12 week appointment and I have this months appointment next week so I am interested in finding out what I have gained. Over all I think (I hope) that I am doing well. Still no baby flutters that I can feel (I think I might have felt something the other night but am not really sure).

This next batch is my Halloween mantle...quite pleased with the Trick Or Treat blocks...some spouses at the base had them for sale for $7 and I have been on the look out for something just like that...my plan is to find a Thanksgiving or a Give Thanks sign or blocks or something...I guess I will know when I see it. Here are close ups of either end of the mantle and the blocks....the pumpkins I found at Hobby Lobby on sale thankUveryMuch and I love did I say LOVE the big one....

and the little gourds and pumpkin stuff at the market for next to nothing....good finds!!!!

1st Baby Pics

2008-10-20T12:26:00.007-06:00

This is our first appointment picture, 8 weeks and 4 days, I was feeling great!
Second appointment, 12 weeks and 4 days...although our little growing one only measured 12 weeks 2 days. Here are a couple more pictures...

I still look at this pictures on the fridge every day in amazement! We are going to have a baby! There is a little life growing inside of me, I can't wait to feel him/her move, I can't believe how fast they grow!

Holiday...

2008-10-13T11:16:00.005-06:00

It's after 12...noon that is, sitting here on the couch....still in my pj's (kinda..I did brush my teeth and comb my hair...doesn't that count for something???)...watching a movie...thinking of the stuff I would like to bake, make, cook...
Christmas is just around the corner and I have 7 sisters that I need to get their gifts started, my plan is to make all the gifts this year, my sisters not to hard...Mr. Wonderful's family...well some of them we only only see during the holidays and well...I really don't know them and they don't know me and now....I am going to have to come up with something. This is when living far far away in a foreign country is very helpful...just pick up something that they would not have (small but interesting and usable...hopefully), wrap and ship...problem solved. But now....last year I had left overs from living in Turkey, this year not so much...so I am thinking...thinking...thinking.

Apple pie...I want some and corn chowder and banana bread, homemade bread, potato soup, chicken pot pie......I am so hungry...but I am in my pj's and do not want to go to the grocery...I swear if they had delivery in this little town I would order from the grocery right now...but they do not. I think that a grill cheese might have to do for now and then a trip to the grocery will have to happen.

Mr. Wonderful is in his own paradise...hunting...I was thinking...yay...holiday 3 day weekend we can have some fun...well...I am on the couch in my pj's and he is off hunting...again....Friday afternoon and evening...we prepared for a garage sale...yay...$340ish dollars made!!!!....Saturday, after the money making garage sale...me alone all night....Sunday afternoon and evening...me alone all night...this morning and possibly for the rest of the day...me alone...well I have the pups and some movies that I have not seen in a while....while I love that Mr. Wonderful hunts and he loves to go and it makes the stress of his job seem not so bad when he can get out in the woods and do what he does....I hate sitting alone so much. Last night I did go to Hastings and purchased a pregnancy yoga DVD and book...but I don't have $$ to spend so heading to the mall to poke around is not that appealing and well...good thing hunting season only lasts so long.

Not much else happening, I am growing...I woke up a couple days ago and could only think...this is not my body...things are changing, shifting and here we are...first trimester down...week 14 ...yay!!! I am feeling good, aside from lots of bloating and some still sore (but not as much) girls and clothing not fitting nice..except for pj's....too bad I cannot wear them always...This is becoming real....I still go to the fridge and look at the ultrasound pictures in wonder and amazement that....that I have a life, a little one...a brand new human...with brand new thoughts and ideas and silliness and looks and never been on this earth before wonder, growing inside of me...this is real...what I have been waiting for...for forever I feel...5 years of infertility and now we are going to have a baby...my hopes are being realized...my dream is coming true!

Long time no post.....

2008-10-08T14:41:00.008-06:00

Well, it's been quite a while ya'll...
Mr. Wonderful and I had quite a lovely time in New Orleans
This is us on Bourbon Street the 2nd night we were there. Happy 40th to my friend Sarah! We also visited several plantation homes along the Mississippi River this one was my favorite...

it is Oak Alley Plantation, they also have a BB here and Mr. Wonderful and I are keeping that little nugget in the back of our minds as we make future holiday plans.

A huge congratulations to Mr. Wonderful!!!! He pinned on Major the last day of September, the ceremony was really special and we had a wonderful time with both sets of parents here visiting us in Paradise...here are a couple of pictures from that day...

Mr. Wonderful's parents, the new Major and I and my parents...this is the first time they have met each other since we got married almost 6 years ago!

The pinning, we were in a little friendly competition to see who could remove the Captains bars and pin the Major's the fastest....whoooohoooo...I won!The handshake, after the salute, after the Oath of Duty.

Mr. Wonderful surprised me with a beautiful bouquet of flowers!

A little baby update for you....I am now 13 weeks and 6 days pregnant! We are almost past the ever important first trimester. We had our second OB appointment last week and the baby looks perfect (two arms, two legs...the bone structure so clearly visible)! I am doing good, only 2pds gained so far, my BP is great and the doctor said that I was growing this baby good! We have not heard the heartbeat yet...something I am anticipating...doc says next month and then the month after that we should find out if we are having a little boy or girl (I can't think of a better Christmas present!). Mr. Wonderful says we are having a girl, whenever I think of this little growing one, I think boy....so we shall see.
I shopped for night bras as well as some materity clothes....I will have to save that shopping experience for another post.
I guess that is all for now...not much happenning in Paradise this week...I hope you are enjoying the beginnings of Fall and all the beauty of this magical season!

2008-09-11T17:07:00.001-06:00

We are headed to New Orleans for a little Holiday! See ya later!!!!!

Not so much....

2008-09-08T16:20:00.004-06:00

Today has ended up being a Not So Much kinda day...I went to bed last night with a lil headache and woke up this morning feeling pretty good...still a little headache so I took my time this morning. My plan for the day was to get the bathrooms cleaned up, laundry done, ironing completed, clean the kitchen (as I have just rinsed and stacked the dishes since Sat...yuck...I know...but at least they are rinsed). I completed a half of one of them...geez......I had (still have a lil one but not as bed) a horrible headache that sent me to the couch with a cold compress and lots of sleep. And then it started to rain and our puppy Austin needed to come inside....oh the dog wrestling that starts, the noise...just gets on my nerves, if they could wrestle/play silently that would be wonderful....too bad I don't have a mute button to press in their direction. And then the doorbell rings....the package of birthday gifts that I have tried to send my sister TWICE is back on my front porch...wrong address twice now (I had her old address memorized but then she had to go and move to a nice new big house and change her address in the process) I called her of course...we figured out the problem...I had Glenn Haven Ct instead of Lynn Haven Ct and the zip code was all mixed up....who knows...Glenn and Lynn sound alike. So my nephews gift will be very late and hopefully when I send this off tomorrow..for the last time...it will not arrive at my door step but rather hers in time for my nieces birthday.
Oh and I have not completed by bible study heart-work yet either, looks like I might be doing the last two days tomorrow morning....yuck...not what I wanted either.
So, today, Not So Much kind of day...the master bathroom is almost done, I just need to finish the floors and find the Windex (Mr. Wonderful used it last and I have no idea where he might of placed it....update..it was in a compartment in his truck...cause he never knows when he might need to clean the windows...WHAT????) so I can clean the mirrors. Nothing else completed, dishes still stacked on the counter, laundry still in piles, clothes still waiting to be ironed, bible study needing to be accomplished and the wrestling continues.....
I have to have my house clean...we leave Thursday for vacation and I love to walk into a clean house...hummmm...you know when you walk in and think....the cleaning fairy has been here...and even though you are the cleaning fairy...you have not had to clean for at least a couple days because you were on vacation....and once you arrive home from said vacation you almost need another vacation to recover from the vacation you were on......you know...the laundry and "stuff" that ends up in a common room in your home once you unload the car and suitcases. Plus trips to the grocery and all the other errands that need to be caught up on....So my house must be clean...and I mean CLEAN by Thursday....the less stuff that I have to do when I get home from vacation...the less stuff that is waiting for me....the better.
I hope that tomorrow will be a better more productive day. I hope tomorrow and Wednesday are not....Not So Much Days!

What about you, do you have to have everything clean before you leave the house on a vacation? Do you stay up late the night before you leave to make sure that EVERYTHING is clean and done? Or can you just not worry about it...or are you so organized that everything is always done and there is no mad cleaning rush to that last day at home before a vacation?

Unbuttoning those jeans....

2008-09-07T12:05:00.003-06:00

Here I am week 10! My pants are getting a bit on the tight side, I can button them but it does not feel good, so I bought Bella Bands and am using those right now....here is a picture of me taken this morning...Just a little of a belly....I was not at my ideal weight starting this pregnancy so...I hope to only gain the 15 to 20 pounds. At my first OB appointment (8 weeks and 4 days) I weighed the same that I did before we got pregnant. I am feeling great, no morning sickness, headaches or anything really to complain about....Although...I had no idea that I would have periods of horrible gas...and even though I expected the tiredness I did not expect the exhaustion that overtakes me. On other happy news...my Mr. Wonderful pins on Major this month! I am so excited for him and this accomplishment....he works really hard and although we knew that he was selected almost a year ago we did not know when the pinning would take place. I will have to post a couple of pictures of the ceremony. My parents are going to fly in for the pinning and will be able to stay for a week! I am looking forward to spending time with them and talking with my mom, she birthed all of her 8 girls naturally and is also a Doula....We are planning on having her here for my labor and delivery. I guess that is it for now....not much going on around here...just quiet days...I really should get started on my Christmas projects....December will be here before we know it. Do you make your Christmas gifts? Do you shop the whole year for gifts? Or do you wait for the last minute?

6 Weeks New

2008-09-01T08:07:00.003-06:00

We are 8 weeks now...this little one is six weeks new...looking at pictures and reading how she/he is growing and changing week to week is amazing. Our first OB appointment is tomorrow! I am excited and nervous too....what if he does not see anything? What if this pregnancy is not real? I know the preggo stick had a big plus and the blood test confirmed and then more tests to show my hormone levels also confirmed the changes happening in my body.....It is just that we have waited for 5 long years to get pregnant, had several long cycles....and well I guess I feel cautious and hopeful.....I wonder if other women have questions like this? I have been pretty lucky too....so far only fatigue, sore girls and a little bit of mood swings...nothing else...no morning sickness or nausea...for that I am grateful....although Mr. Wonderful said, "shouldn't you be getting sick? Is everything ok with the baby if you do not?" I know the stats that 15% of pregnant women do not experience morning sickness so.....I just remind him of that percentage and tell him of several people I know that never had morning sickness. The funny thing is that his questions make me wonder too....I guess that is all normal. I just can't wait for tomorrow.

There is also a small chance that we could have twins as we were on fertility meds when we conceived...so we will find that out tomorrow too. I have no ideas/thoughts/feeling towards whether we are having one or two. Mr. Wonderful teases me that there are two in there...but then he says that he really does not know...that he just wants to tease me...nice...thanks babe!

I guess that is it for now....I will post tomorrow....I am anticipating the visit as if I was starting the first day of school or a new job....I guess in some ways it is a "new school or job"....I just hope I can sleep tonight....I'm sure that that will not be a problem though.
Did you have questions and doubts about even being pregnant before you had your first appointment?

Accomplished....

2008-08-23T20:46:00.004-06:00

There is nothing like ending your day knowing that it was a productive one AND the things that you accomplished during the day will last. Mr. Wonderful and I had a most perfect day today...we slept in till 8:30, played with the pups, went for yummy breakfast burritos, stopped in at a yard sale and bought a stand up freezer for $90, cleaned out the garage, the storage room in the garage, took an afternoon nap, mowed and trimmed the yard, finished organizing the recycle bins and tools in the garage, played with the pups, cleaned up and created a very late night dinner....Very Productive Day!!!!! I am tired, but am grateful that we got naps in there. The freezer was an excellent find as Mr. Wonderful is preparing for hunting season and we need a place to put all that wonderful meat. We were hoping to find one soon and there it was in the paper with the yard sale ads....

On another note, we are Seven weeks today, I am feeling great, no morning sickness, just sore girls (that went from a C to a D...crikes) and lots of tired days....sometimes it feels like I can never get enough rest. Oh and the hormones too...watching the Olympics and crying as the men's marathon finished...26 miles...actually I think that I have cried at almost all of the winners finishes...what an accomplishment, what wonderful diligence, what pride of self (in a totally good way)...to set a goal, love a sport and be the best in the world...makes me tear up just thinking about it.

I talked with one of my sisters yesterday and I told her about a good friend of mine that found out she is pregnant too...about 2 weeks behind me and although she lives in another state we will still be able to share this journey into Mommyhood together. My sister (and she is my best friend and has been since I was born) said she was jealous...it just made me cry....she was glad that I have a close friend to share this with and the only thing that could make my pregnancy better is if we were pregnant together....I so wanted to be pregnant at the same time as her but life just didn't work out that way....it makes me sad that we won't share those moments but I am grateful that we are close and she still loves the conversations that we are having as I am discovering the joys and pains of pregnancy and the worries and wonders of motherhood.

Did you have a sister or close friend that you were pregnant with? Have you continued to walk through Mommyhood together?

6 Weeks and 4 days....

2008-08-20T11:46:00.002-06:00

Today, according to my calculations I am 6 weeks and 4 days pregnant....My first OB appointment is the 2nd of Sept. so I will know then if my dates are right or not. So far only really tired, no morning sickness, food aversions or cravings....I do have some pelvic pain off and on that at first alarmed me but I new that if there is no spotting or cramping then I was ok so....seems like just elevating my feet and taking a nice nap helped take care of the pain.

Reading a lot of information lately....as much as I believe that I will be a great Mom and have good instincts....I am still scared and worried, but prayer and believing that God will guide Mr. Wonderful and I helps. I am the last of 8 sisters to conceive...I am a middle child with 3 older sisters and 4 younger all whom have had kids....most of them not having anymore. I think that there are just 2 of us, maybe a 3rd, that are planning on having more. Of course this being my first I know that unless God blesses us with multiples we will hope to get pregnant again. Watching as well as taking some part (helping to potty train and give advice) in the lives of my nephews and nieces I believe will help me be better prepared....but can you truly be prepared.....I don't know.

I am planning on nursing, hopefully exclusively for at least the first 6 months, I know that there are numerous things that can change this, but I come from a long line of women who nurse and well just expect to. I am a stay at home wife at this time, I have worked full/part time off and on since Mr. Wonderful and I married....he is in the Air Force and moving every two to three years doesn't lend itself to great jobs....although there has been a couple wonderful although short term ones....so life as far as income and me staying at home will not change once this little one arrives. We are also planning on cloth diapers...lots of reading there and while I know I have time I would like to decide so that we can buy a little at a time or just know what we are saving for.

Mr. Wonderful and I have tried to conceive for 5 years now, and had taken clomid for the past three months and were stunned to stay the least when the preggo stick pulled out a positive line. After you try for so long and hope against hope each and every month only to be disappointed and have to deal..only to start the hoping cycle again. We also experienced a failed adoption of a little boy this past May. Mr. Wonderful was in the sandbox on the other side of the world and I flew to SC the day he was born, I brought him home (to my sisters house) from the hospital and had him for 5 days when the birth mom called and said that she had changed her mind (she had 10 days to do this and was on day 4 of that 10 days). The loss and grief of that little one and Mr. Wonderful being in another country was the hardest thing I have ever been through.

So this growing miracle is wrapped up with our hopes, dreams, prayers and thoughts that we have carried around with us for 5 years. So much expectation..so much emotion placed in my heart for this little one. It's quite overwhelming sometimes..I just need to sit and cry a minute or two....God is faithful, His ways are not our ways and His timing not ours. I am just excited and am also glad that we have 8 months to plan for this little one.....

Boogies for a quarter....

2008-08-19T09:01:00.003-06:00

The most wasted of all days is one without laughter. ~e.e. cummings

Last night Mr. Wonderful and I were talking in bed, about this new life growing, names we have in our minds, when we should rearrange the house, on whether or not we want to find out the sex of the baby or wait and be surprised....the conversation some how makes it way to boogies...Now you would have to know that I get grossed out about snot, having to wipe a snotty nose makes me gag....I know....I know...this is something I am going to have to get over..but last night Mr. Wonderful started talking about boogies and how he is going to teach our little one to pick his/her nose and then "take the boogie to Mommy" ...of course I am laughing... then he says.. better yet "take the boogie to Mommy she'll give you a quarter for it....Mommy's the Boogie Fairy!" This man of mine...I am in trouble.....we both were laughing though.....what a way to end the day!

Did your hubby come up with stuff he would teach your kids to do to you? Has he taught them? Did you wait to find out the sex?
Don't forget to laugh today!

Awake

2008-08-14T22:54:00.002-06:00

It's almost midnight and I though that I would be fast asleep in dream land by now, but no I am awake. This being pregnant is amazing, emotional and tiring...and I am only at the end of my 5th week. Things at work for my Mr. Wonderful have calmed down a bit and he is arriving home at a normal time (not 8pm but rather 6ish). We had a date night of sorts tonight, went to the movies to see Get Smart and walked through Chick-fil-A before hand to grab some dinner to promptly stuff in my over sized bag and take into the theater....Mr. Wonderful calling me a rebel...hmmm what-ever, I don't want a late dinner and I don't want popcorn for dinner so....rebel indeed.

Researching diapers....what fun, cloth ones, I do not want to do disposables and have always thought that I would do cloth, my Mom did cloth with eight kids, all of us....I can do it! Now to decide which ones? Fuzzi Bunz, Bum Genius, Mommy's Touch, Kissaluvs...how do you decide. I'm looking for diapers that will last through more than one baby, will snaps be a pain...(I'm thinking wiggly baby, Mr. Wonderful trying to change the diaper...it gets comical in my head...but will he get frustrated?), do I want to have inserts or all-in-ones, certain sizes or the one size fits all kind...I just don't know....Have you used cloth diapers and if you have what you recommend and why?

Babywearing or Babywise...two different ends of the spectrum...I see the virtues of both, combine the two...I think I will but there is SO much information out there.

My in-laws are coming for the weekend, we will be visiting some of the small towns around here, browsing antique shops and flea markets, eating yummy food and enjoying company...ya'll have a great weekend....and let me know what you think about cloth diapers...I know I have a while but it's a big purchase so I want to get a jump on that sooner than later.

The Grass IS really Greener

2008-08-08T17:50:00.003-06:00

I've spent a couple hours today here.....

Sleeping, I am so tired today....I didn't know that I could be this tired....and then awake to just feel tired. HAHAHA...this is the "grass is greener on the other side" moment...although this side of the fence yields HIGH rewards...a little miracle baby award. So I'll just stretch out, relax and get more rest, watch the opening ceremony for the Olympics and wait for my Mr. Wonderful to come home. Good thing we have leftover lasagna or enchiladas to choose from as well as yummy spinach salad.
No new projects started (except the growing wee one), the K's are still waiting patiently on my desk for paint, the quilt pieces only shout "look at me, make me into something wonderful!" when I pass them, but I want to do well and make a wonderful quilt, friends told me about a friend that loves to quilt and would love to help show me the way. So, when I get her number and we get a schedule together...quilt progress pictures will be posted.
WhooooHOOOO....to my heavenly Father!!!! I am overwhelmed with emotion sometimes, that he is knitting together in my womb a beautiful child...and He knows, he knows what kind of mamma I will be, what dreams my young one will have, what his/her life will hold. The awesome gift that God gives us...allowing our wombs to be a part of creation! Amazing isn't it?

Some Kinda Wonderful

2008-08-04T16:00:00.003-06:00

Yesterday...Sept 4, 2008...we are pregnant! I can hardly believe this, the preggo stick is still sitting on the desk...I actually found out late last night...had the blood test today and guess what!!!!! Mr. Wonderful and I are amazed....he looked at that stick last night and said...."what, what...does this mean, it has a plus sign...does that mean...(with tears in his eyes)"..."yeppers love" said I, "we are having baby, can you believe this?" So April is when our little miracle will make his or her appearance.

We have been trying to get pregnant for almost 5 years...IUI, shots, hormones...a failed adoption this past May...Sunday early afternoon, I was sad, I felt like...that I could not do this anymore...this hoping and trying and testing and hormones and all the other stress...

I think I am in shock....not dis-belief though...I have believed for this, hoped, prayed and dreamed of these moments for a long long time....

Weekends are made for Resting

2008-08-02T15:24:00.004-06:00

It's the weekend ya'll and I would love to be in Cozumel,Mexico...laying one one of those chairs like I did back in January....A girl can have her dreams right? I don't know about you but Saturday and Sundays are sacred....NO WORK ALLOWED...(unless annoyingly absolutely necessary work has to happen). The house keeping work that is, laundry, ironing, moping of floors...etc...The outdoor work....well that is always going on, on the weekends....but not when it's HOT (99 degrees outside). Now I don't have little ones (except for my pups) so I suppose I can get away with a pile (read a LARGE pile) of clothes on the back of the couch waiting patiently to get ironed, a floor that is in bad need of mopping and the lack of a big drawn out dinner on the stove or in the oven. ( I'm thinking it's leftovers tonight.) Mr. Wonderful is at the office working on class work for his THIRD master's degree...UGGGG...studying....I don't know how he keeps it up. Next week is a busy one, a gathering to plan and prepare for, for Thursday night...hmmmm what to make, vet visits, job interviews, cookies to make, Brown Bag Lunch for 45 people to prepare for, jewelry to make, birthday presents to wrap and send, mopping that floor, ironing those clothes....just thinking about it makes me sleepy and since it's Saturday and the pups are sleeping I can get a little nappy in too. I know, KNOW, that when we have little ones...all this is going to change...but for now...today...I'm relaxing and resting!
What about you...are your weekends rush rush rush and clean clean clean...do you have an unwritten rule about what does or does not happen on Saturday's?

Tuesdays!

2008-07-29T14:32:00.006-06:00

Don't you just love Tuesdays? Monday is over, the rest of the week is ahead of you....Tuesdays are cleanin' days around here...I also finished up a little "need to have a desk looking out a window" project where I can accomplish my little projects...So its ready, ready for projects to start, a place to bead, paint, sew and dream. Several projects are on the desk...See those K's? A friend of mine has B's (for her last name of course) and I always liked her B's and wanted some of my own....But since my last name does not start with a B...I get K's...more B's for her, more K's for me. So now when I am on holiday I will be looking for K's. Mr. Wonderful thinks it is all a little silly but hey, what is life with out a little silliness in it. The other project, the "my eyes are too big for my britches" project...a quilt...
Like the one from Old Red Barn Co., that she gave away in a fabulous quilt give away....So I thought to myself...self...if I don't win, then I will buy the fabric (Michael Miller, Ginger Blossom by Sandi Henderson) and make a gorgeous, fabulous quilt myself...I can do it, Yes I can...hahahah...I have NO quilting experience, can barely sew ( I just learned to hem jeans for pete's (sorry pete) sake). So I will have to keep you posted. Right now I am content to LOOK at this beautiful stack of fabric and see in my minds eye just what my quilt will look like...God help me.

On another note, here are my pups....
Austin and Elliot...after a day at the lake, they had a blast, Mr. Wonderful and I also had a lot of fun...

Well, now that I have given myself a break, sat and enjoyed my "new project desk" it's back to housework...cleaning toilets....It's House Keeping Tuesday after all!

24 Things

2008-07-24T18:05:00.001-06:00

So, I keep up with AidChild (www.aidchild.org) an orphanage in Uganda, East Africa that my cousin worked at for a couple years. Every month the founder and director sends out an email that lists things he is grateful for, the number of gratitudes is the same as the day of the month. I was thinking today, of my gratitudes and how often I over look them....So here are mine, 24 today...

1. The warmth of love
2. free loaner books from the library
3. new recipes
4. tomatillos
5. air conditioning
6. music that speaks to me
7. a clean house
8. snuggles from Elliot and Austin
9. making plans to go places
10. going to those places with my Mr. Wonderful
11. water, clean water
12. 7th Generation products that are good for my family and the environment
13. the joy and adventure this military life brings to my doorstep
14. the satisfaction of knowing that I made a difference today
15. Smiles from my Mr. Wonderful
16. Conversations with my sisters
17. Bloggers that inspire me to be better and try new things
18. Hebrews 10:23
19. friends that know my heart
20. the joy of adoption
21. the hope that I will know that joy completed
22. flea markets and antique shopping
23. the quiet
24. breathe, life, creation

How about you, what are you grateful for?